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<blockquote data-quote="Daddywayhaar" data-source="post: 719533" data-attributes="member: 22252"><p>I'm not understanding my son and daughter right now. As mentioned before I met with both them individual and both told me they never bonded with us. That same night I met with my son my wife and daughter got into a heated argument over the phone about life I guess. Anyway it was on speaker and my daughter, whom had been drinking as my son told me this earlier, accused both of us of beating her thru her upbringing. Now again I know I wasn't the best, but that is something that never happened. And once again we could hear her wonderful boyfriend in the background talking smack. It was this point I decided to cut her out my life not only for false accusations, but I believe there is nothing she needs to tell me that she cannot tell her mom. That day I saw her last month she spend more time hanging on her boyfriend which made me feel uncomfortable, but that is a dad thing I surmise. She made it clear, in my opinion, she only needs this family she is living with (they live with his dad and his girlfriend and her kids and their girlfriends). So now last night out of the blue she repeatedly called the house phone and called her little brother looking for me. My youngest son makes his own decisions and I promise we do not ever talk bad of his siblings. Also she messaged her little sister on Friday to have me call her. So now she leaves me a rather snotty voicemail from someone else's phone stating she doesn't know what's going on but I better let her know right away. Her tone was demanding and then suddenly she trailed off into a sad "please". My wife has told me that I have to watch out with her as she will manipulate me for her personal gain. I always blew that off not even knowing what she meant until now honestly. I hate feeling cynical but she truly cries crocodile tears. She lives in the moment which is fine, but she torched the family bridge months ago including with my father (admitingly he can be over opinionated). She chose to disappear from our lives the way she did. She chose to tell her new friends how we beat her and only adopted her to be a cleaning slave (she actually said this) and that we only wanted her little brother but we're stuck with her and her older brother. I still don't know where this all came from. I don't understand the need for drama bombs. My wife says she does it for pity from her new family because we held her accountable for her actions and her lies to the counselors during high school. There was even a point in 10th grade where her best friend told her her mom won't let them hang out anymore because "her drama is affecting her schoolwork". I still to this day thought it was just normal high school girl stuff as I only had brothers growing up. I don't know what to believe. Her actions equal consequences which in this case is me not wanting to talk to her. I cannot listen to her just trash talk my wife and then be all cute and cuddly with me. I feel like it would put a rift in our marriage since she is sweetness with me, manipulation, and my wife gets all the s**t. Doesn't seem fair to me. My bottom line logic - anything she needs to say to me can be said to my wife also. I will not keep secrets and have no desire to inadvertently play sides between my wife and daughter. I believe I am doing the right thing yet feel terrible but I just do not trust my daughter at all. And my wife is correct - I will believe my daughters sad pity stories that are not true. Believe me cutting her out is for the greater good which is to forge a bond between mother and daughter no matter how I feel. Thanks!!!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Daddywayhaar, post: 719533, member: 22252"] I'm not understanding my son and daughter right now. As mentioned before I met with both them individual and both told me they never bonded with us. That same night I met with my son my wife and daughter got into a heated argument over the phone about life I guess. Anyway it was on speaker and my daughter, whom had been drinking as my son told me this earlier, accused both of us of beating her thru her upbringing. Now again I know I wasn't the best, but that is something that never happened. And once again we could hear her wonderful boyfriend in the background talking smack. It was this point I decided to cut her out my life not only for false accusations, but I believe there is nothing she needs to tell me that she cannot tell her mom. That day I saw her last month she spend more time hanging on her boyfriend which made me feel uncomfortable, but that is a dad thing I surmise. She made it clear, in my opinion, she only needs this family she is living with (they live with his dad and his girlfriend and her kids and their girlfriends). So now last night out of the blue she repeatedly called the house phone and called her little brother looking for me. My youngest son makes his own decisions and I promise we do not ever talk bad of his siblings. Also she messaged her little sister on Friday to have me call her. So now she leaves me a rather snotty voicemail from someone else's phone stating she doesn't know what's going on but I better let her know right away. Her tone was demanding and then suddenly she trailed off into a sad "please". My wife has told me that I have to watch out with her as she will manipulate me for her personal gain. I always blew that off not even knowing what she meant until now honestly. I hate feeling cynical but she truly cries crocodile tears. She lives in the moment which is fine, but she torched the family bridge months ago including with my father (admitingly he can be over opinionated). She chose to disappear from our lives the way she did. She chose to tell her new friends how we beat her and only adopted her to be a cleaning slave (she actually said this) and that we only wanted her little brother but we're stuck with her and her older brother. I still don't know where this all came from. I don't understand the need for drama bombs. My wife says she does it for pity from her new family because we held her accountable for her actions and her lies to the counselors during high school. There was even a point in 10th grade where her best friend told her her mom won't let them hang out anymore because "her drama is affecting her schoolwork". I still to this day thought it was just normal high school girl stuff as I only had brothers growing up. I don't know what to believe. Her actions equal consequences which in this case is me not wanting to talk to her. I cannot listen to her just trash talk my wife and then be all cute and cuddly with me. I feel like it would put a rift in our marriage since she is sweetness with me, manipulation, and my wife gets all the s**t. Doesn't seem fair to me. My bottom line logic - anything she needs to say to me can be said to my wife also. I will not keep secrets and have no desire to inadvertently play sides between my wife and daughter. I believe I am doing the right thing yet feel terrible but I just do not trust my daughter at all. And my wife is correct - I will believe my daughters sad pity stories that are not true. Believe me cutting her out is for the greater good which is to forge a bond between mother and daughter no matter how I feel. Thanks!!! [/QUOTE]
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