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Unbearably missing difficult child - why?
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<blockquote data-quote="Steely" data-source="post: 247625" data-attributes="member: 3301"><p>OMG,</p><p></p><p>What is my deal? Suddenly, out of the blue, I miss difficult child like I have left him at pre-school on his first day of school.</p><p></p><p>I don't know if it is hormones, or the fact I will be seeing him in 2 weeks and I am nervous, or the possibility of my new job in a new town without him - but it is insane. I feel like I did when he was little, just <em>needing</em> to see him when he was 2 and I worked a 10 hour day. That kinda maternal, guttural, feeling. I hate it. </p><p></p><p>He has been gone 6 months, and I have only seen him once, but I have not felt like this until about 4 days ago. Of course I have really missed him, but it has not been this type of intense feeling, or this nauseating, for lack of a better word.</p><p></p><p>To make it even more complicated, I start perseverating on missing difficult child - and then I start missing H. - and then I just start to cry and have a huge anxiety attack all at the same time.</p><p></p><p>I do have to say in the course of 18 months, every 6 months I have had traumatic life events. My dad, H., difficult child leaving - and if I get this job - that will be the fourth major life event in 2 years. Maybe I am just in over my head with this job thing. Maybe it is too much.</p><p> </p><p>I don't know. Any ideas, besides something biological? Any ideas on making it freaking go away? I know it is on the un-healthy side of me to be like this - especially if I am still feeling this when I go see difficult child. That would be really, really bad. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite3" alt=":(" title="Frown :(" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":(" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Steely, post: 247625, member: 3301"] OMG, What is my deal? Suddenly, out of the blue, I miss difficult child like I have left him at pre-school on his first day of school. I don't know if it is hormones, or the fact I will be seeing him in 2 weeks and I am nervous, or the possibility of my new job in a new town without him - but it is insane. I feel like I did when he was little, just [I]needing[/I] to see him when he was 2 and I worked a 10 hour day. That kinda maternal, guttural, feeling. I hate it. He has been gone 6 months, and I have only seen him once, but I have not felt like this until about 4 days ago. Of course I have really missed him, but it has not been this type of intense feeling, or this nauseating, for lack of a better word. To make it even more complicated, I start perseverating on missing difficult child - and then I start missing H. - and then I just start to cry and have a huge anxiety attack all at the same time. I do have to say in the course of 18 months, every 6 months I have had traumatic life events. My dad, H., difficult child leaving - and if I get this job - that will be the fourth major life event in 2 years. Maybe I am just in over my head with this job thing. Maybe it is too much. I don't know. Any ideas, besides something biological? Any ideas on making it freaking go away? I know it is on the un-healthy side of me to be like this - especially if I am still feeling this when I go see difficult child. That would be really, really bad. :frowny: [/QUOTE]
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Unbearably missing difficult child - why?
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