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Unbelievable - Or Maybe Not for a difficult child...
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<blockquote data-quote="Farmwife" data-source="post: 387220" data-attributes="member: 8617"><p>A diagram like that would never work for my difficult child. He may "get it" but 5 minutes later he would be back in the land of delusion, chasing the next overpriced, shiny piece of plastic junk he could beg and plead for. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite5" alt=":confused:" title="Confused :confused:" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":confused:" /></p><p> </p><p> </p><p>I have had to keep it much simpler which fortunately enough worked. Everytime he asked for something I would respond with "do you have a job?" or "when did you get a job?" or something along those lines. The first few times he would naturally say no and I would respond with "well, that's too bad then, I guess you can't afford it." I often see other parents who overhear this responding with a silent chuckle. I wonder how many other kids get this same respopnse now because I have no shame using it in public. lol</p><p> </p><p>It got to be such a routine that if he even wanted to do the "hey look at this" game in the store (strong hint/beg on his part) he would follow up with "I know I know, get a job". He was actually good humored about it. It made saying no so much easier. Never had a problem since, in that department anyway. now he does have a job, bought his own car and bought his fancy brand clothes because he gets generic from us. He is very proud of himself in that sense too.</p><p> </p><p>The dishes is an ongoing battle in our house. My rule is that if I cook it I don't clean it. I do a lot of elaborate meals but refuse to do all the dishes after dinner. difficult child has the option to either join us and do clean up or he can cook for himself. (the novelty of cooking for himself ran out quickly when I stopped keeping easy to fix foods or junk in the house) If he does a bad job on dishes after the fact because his mood slipped then he is uninvited from the next meal...I usually make that one special just to drive home the "pain" of missing out. I figure if he gets a "freebie" meal out of me and then in hindsight does me wrong over clean up I am going to make him regret it. Of course my difficult child is very food oriented, he is a teen boy after all. <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/felttip/whiteflag.png" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":whiteflag:" title="whiteflag :whiteflag:" data-shortname=":whiteflag:" /></p><p> </p><p>Either way, both of these simple tactics saved me a lot of those conversations where he just tuned me out anyway but I still get my point across.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Farmwife, post: 387220, member: 8617"] A diagram like that would never work for my difficult child. He may "get it" but 5 minutes later he would be back in the land of delusion, chasing the next overpriced, shiny piece of plastic junk he could beg and plead for. :confused1: I have had to keep it much simpler which fortunately enough worked. Everytime he asked for something I would respond with "do you have a job?" or "when did you get a job?" or something along those lines. The first few times he would naturally say no and I would respond with "well, that's too bad then, I guess you can't afford it." I often see other parents who overhear this responding with a silent chuckle. I wonder how many other kids get this same respopnse now because I have no shame using it in public. lol It got to be such a routine that if he even wanted to do the "hey look at this" game in the store (strong hint/beg on his part) he would follow up with "I know I know, get a job". He was actually good humored about it. It made saying no so much easier. Never had a problem since, in that department anyway. now he does have a job, bought his own car and bought his fancy brand clothes because he gets generic from us. He is very proud of himself in that sense too. The dishes is an ongoing battle in our house. My rule is that if I cook it I don't clean it. I do a lot of elaborate meals but refuse to do all the dishes after dinner. difficult child has the option to either join us and do clean up or he can cook for himself. (the novelty of cooking for himself ran out quickly when I stopped keeping easy to fix foods or junk in the house) If he does a bad job on dishes after the fact because his mood slipped then he is uninvited from the next meal...I usually make that one special just to drive home the "pain" of missing out. I figure if he gets a "freebie" meal out of me and then in hindsight does me wrong over clean up I am going to make him regret it. Of course my difficult child is very food oriented, he is a teen boy after all. :whiteflag: Either way, both of these simple tactics saved me a lot of those conversations where he just tuned me out anyway but I still get my point across. [/QUOTE]
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