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Unconditional love?
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<blockquote data-quote="slsh" data-source="post: 653359" data-attributes="member: 8"><p>Lil - just real quick.... figuring out how to live with our kids' choices and not be miserable about them takes a lot of time. And I have to tell you I think it's extremely normal to have your strength come and go in waves (or tsunamis). It's really easy for me to sit here and tell you yada yada yada, but please know that I was an absolute basket case when we were living it. Completely frantic at times. My mood swings' mood swings had mood swings. I alternated between heroic rescuing mom who was going to fix it all for my baby and queen of detachment, sometimes hourly. It was *awful*, for everyone in our family (and probably for my beloved CD board family, who suffered through umpteen gazillion posts as I tried to figure out how to deal with it all, LOL). </p><p></p><p>I brought my kid home after 6 months on the streets. We tried to help him get a job, clean up, live "normally." I had completely forgotten that fiasco until this afternoon when I was thinking about you. He lasted a week and then hightailed it back to the city and his real "family" (aka street kids he hung with). Painful beyond words. And boy did I kick myself for being such an idiot. But.... it's what us moms do. We want to make it all okay. Suz used to have a quote in her signature along the lines of we do the best we can until we learn better, and then we do better. </p><p></p><p>I think we will always worry, regardless of how well or otherwise our kids are doing. The key, I think, is learning how to minimize how adversely that worry/fear affects our lives, and only time and experience teaches us that.. </p><p></p><p>If you can weather your current concerns without going back to stage 1, that's progress. Hang on to that. Expect to backslide. It's okay, normal, human, whatever, and you've got a ton of shoulders to lean on here.</p><p></p><p>I hope you are having a pleasant dinner with your kiddo.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="slsh, post: 653359, member: 8"] Lil - just real quick.... figuring out how to live with our kids' choices and not be miserable about them takes a lot of time. And I have to tell you I think it's extremely normal to have your strength come and go in waves (or tsunamis). It's really easy for me to sit here and tell you yada yada yada, but please know that I was an absolute basket case when we were living it. Completely frantic at times. My mood swings' mood swings had mood swings. I alternated between heroic rescuing mom who was going to fix it all for my baby and queen of detachment, sometimes hourly. It was *awful*, for everyone in our family (and probably for my beloved CD board family, who suffered through umpteen gazillion posts as I tried to figure out how to deal with it all, LOL). I brought my kid home after 6 months on the streets. We tried to help him get a job, clean up, live "normally." I had completely forgotten that fiasco until this afternoon when I was thinking about you. He lasted a week and then hightailed it back to the city and his real "family" (aka street kids he hung with). Painful beyond words. And boy did I kick myself for being such an idiot. But.... it's what us moms do. We want to make it all okay. Suz used to have a quote in her signature along the lines of we do the best we can until we learn better, and then we do better. I think we will always worry, regardless of how well or otherwise our kids are doing. The key, I think, is learning how to minimize how adversely that worry/fear affects our lives, and only time and experience teaches us that.. If you can weather your current concerns without going back to stage 1, that's progress. Hang on to that. Expect to backslide. It's okay, normal, human, whatever, and you've got a ton of shoulders to lean on here. I hope you are having a pleasant dinner with your kiddo. [/QUOTE]
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