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Unconditional love?
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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 653378" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>That is the extreme we are pushed to, the edge we live on, every day (and the nights are worse) of our lives.</p><p></p><p>We live on hyper-alert.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>I love this. It describes what happens to all of us beautifully, but it has a little zing of humor in it. Humor helps us maintain our balance.</p><p></p><p>It is so good to laugh. It's like touching base with ourselves, with the person we were before everything.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>He is telling you he is exploring life.</p><p></p><p>Your mission, should you choose to accept it (that is from Mission: Impossible) is to remind him to be a gentleman, and to remind him <em>as easily as though it were the most natural thing in the world</em>, that there is no more money.</p><p></p><p>Yes, I agree there is going to be a crisis in late May regarding the June eviction.</p><p></p><p>That is why it will be a very good thing to remind him now that there will be no money, ever. Tell him you are enacting a new theory called detachment parenting, if that will help, but tell him now, and tell him often, that there will be no more money.</p><p></p><p>All the other stuff is okay, Lil. Choose your places to stand and make a determined effort to let the rest go. (Though I do, always and every single time, remind my kids and grands of the rotten sexually transmitted diseases out there.) I would have said something like "What is her HIV status? I mean, just in case."</p><p></p><p>Given that she is a married apprentice tattoo artist in an "open" marriage, I might "open" a discussion on Hep C.</p><p></p><p>I am always mentioning things like that. </p><p></p><p>Gonorrhea. Herpes of both kinds. Horror stories I have heard that don't particularly relate to the child's (or grandchild's) current situation but that get the idea across. How extremely communicable these kinds of diseases are. No guilt in catching them, I say ~ any more than there is guilt in the common cold or the flu.</p><p></p><p>Which is true.</p><p></p><p>Then, I like to add that every time we sleep with someone new or even, kiss them, we are probably catching germs (hopefully, dead ones) not only from them, but from whoever they slept with or kissed last and so on, the circle ever enlarging, the diseases as contagious as the common cold.</p><p></p><p>That is what I say.</p><p></p><p>Alot.</p><p></p><p>:O)</p><p></p><p>I encourage free clinics or family doctors or whatever it takes to be responsible and take care of ourselves so we don't catch something awful and give it to someone else.</p><p></p><p>Both my kids are like, totally irresponsible in ten thousand ways, but they do tend to take that part of things seriously. </p><p></p><p>Which means you take care of business once you catch something.</p><p></p><p>They are G F Gs, after all.</p><p></p><p>***</p><p></p><p>This is the way your child is choosing to grow. It helped me to come up with responses simple enough that I could remember them when all I wanted to do was have one child or the other back home ~ or throw money at the problem, which was my other go to response.</p><p></p><p>That taught my children to see themselves as beggars, Lil.</p><p></p><p>I realized that just lately, as I see what it looks like for them, and for two of our grandchildren too, to have come through "NO MONEY".</p><p></p><p>They came through Lil, with colors flying. Stronger and more certain of who and how they are, and of whether they need to be afraid or can rely on themselves.</p><p></p><p>Huh.</p><p></p><p>Wish I'd seen it that way, sooner.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 653378, member: 17461"] That is the extreme we are pushed to, the edge we live on, every day (and the nights are worse) of our lives. We live on hyper-alert. I love this. It describes what happens to all of us beautifully, but it has a little zing of humor in it. Humor helps us maintain our balance. It is so good to laugh. It's like touching base with ourselves, with the person we were before everything. He is telling you he is exploring life. Your mission, should you choose to accept it (that is from Mission: Impossible) is to remind him to be a gentleman, and to remind him [I]as easily as though it were the most natural thing in the world[/I], that there is no more money. Yes, I agree there is going to be a crisis in late May regarding the June eviction. That is why it will be a very good thing to remind him now that there will be no money, ever. Tell him you are enacting a new theory called detachment parenting, if that will help, but tell him now, and tell him often, that there will be no more money. All the other stuff is okay, Lil. Choose your places to stand and make a determined effort to let the rest go. (Though I do, always and every single time, remind my kids and grands of the rotten sexually transmitted diseases out there.) I would have said something like "What is her HIV status? I mean, just in case." Given that she is a married apprentice tattoo artist in an "open" marriage, I might "open" a discussion on Hep C. I am always mentioning things like that. Gonorrhea. Herpes of both kinds. Horror stories I have heard that don't particularly relate to the child's (or grandchild's) current situation but that get the idea across. How extremely communicable these kinds of diseases are. No guilt in catching them, I say ~ any more than there is guilt in the common cold or the flu. Which is true. Then, I like to add that every time we sleep with someone new or even, kiss them, we are probably catching germs (hopefully, dead ones) not only from them, but from whoever they slept with or kissed last and so on, the circle ever enlarging, the diseases as contagious as the common cold. That is what I say. Alot. :O) I encourage free clinics or family doctors or whatever it takes to be responsible and take care of ourselves so we don't catch something awful and give it to someone else. Both my kids are like, totally irresponsible in ten thousand ways, but they do tend to take that part of things seriously. Which means you take care of business once you catch something. They are G F Gs, after all. *** This is the way your child is choosing to grow. It helped me to come up with responses simple enough that I could remember them when all I wanted to do was have one child or the other back home ~ or throw money at the problem, which was my other go to response. That taught my children to see themselves as beggars, Lil. I realized that just lately, as I see what it looks like for them, and for two of our grandchildren too, to have come through "NO MONEY". They came through Lil, with colors flying. Stronger and more certain of who and how they are, and of whether they need to be afraid or can rely on themselves. Huh. Wish I'd seen it that way, sooner. Cedar [/QUOTE]
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