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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 438809" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>Malika </p><p></p><p>I'm sorry that you are feeling so alone, that's never an easy feeling when it's like you and your son are an island to yourself. In my mind the picture I'm seeing is a young Mother, and a rambunctiious child full of life and energy - and a bunch of old fuddies, well on in their years sitting in stone and mud homes, so quiet that you can actually hear the sound of the regulator ---'tic', 'tock', 'tick', 'tock' and then along comes a lively, healthy, wonderful NORMAL four year old boy exhuberant and if he were here in America amongst any neighborhood or McDonalds play place, playground or in Canada in a park among peers of his own age? He wouldn't seem anything.BUT.NORMAL. </p><p></p><p>Amongst a bunch of elderly men in a French village who are ready to have absolute silence and peace? I would imagine a goat with indigestion is an anomoly and disruptive. I can't imagine what a 4 year old boy with energy and ADHD is to them. Probably thinking he should be taken down to the local Vicar and dunked in the holy water repeatedly. (don't try it either - I did with Dude - did not work) </p><p></p><p>The GREATEST thing about our kids is that they truly separate our real friends and allys from the ones that we couldn't depend on for squat. In all my years I have NO friends left that I feel I could call in the middle of the night and say "I need your help." and they would come running FOR ME. For one reason or another to do with Dude - either his behaviors, or his brushes with the law, or the word psychiatrist? Have caused them to step, together - step away -----and I knew it as it was happening. I'm not a dummy. When I needed them most? When I was crying the most? When I could have used a friend to hug me, to just hand me a tissue? To take me out for a lousy cup of coffee and just smile? They all left. Made excuses, had things to do. Interestingly enough when they needed someone to come get them on a horrible, story night on the side of a road - raining cats and dogs to change a flat beacuse they couldn't get their husbands on a cell? I got a call - hadn't talked to them in over a year - but I got a call. When they were out of money, and had overdrawn their bank accounts and didn't want their husbands to know-I got a call for a loan. When they were so sick they couldn't get out of bed, and their entire family forgot them - we took them groceries, and cleaned their house - fed their animals, fixed their cars...and to this day my DF doesn't get it. And maybe he never will - and that's okay. Even after those times? They still don't come around. That's okay too - I really wouldn't want them too. I don't do what I do to get favors back - I do it because I know how it is to be left alone and lonely. Not a good feeling. </p><p></p><p>But I also know who is a real friend, but more importantly I know how to be one - and I know HOW to be an example to my SON. THAT was worth the price of admission on how NOT to treat people .....So while all this is heartbreaking? Take it from me - it's a valuable lesson even at four - and he gets it. He's actually learning HOW NOT to treat people. And you can tell him so. Because it won't always be like this ----someday you both will move and be in a place that people will appreciate you both for your uniqueness - and they won't call it - weirdness.......and you'll know the difference, and you'll say to your son - NOW THAT is a good model for you. </p><p></p><p>Hope this makes sense. And FYI - my Family? Welsh and Irish on me wee Mothers side. My Father? Native American and Dutch. </p><p></p><p>Your son is unique and beautiful - and don't ever let anyone make him think otherwise ----</p><p>Hugs & Love </p><p>Star</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 438809, member: 4964"] Malika I'm sorry that you are feeling so alone, that's never an easy feeling when it's like you and your son are an island to yourself. In my mind the picture I'm seeing is a young Mother, and a rambunctiious child full of life and energy - and a bunch of old fuddies, well on in their years sitting in stone and mud homes, so quiet that you can actually hear the sound of the regulator ---'tic', 'tock', 'tick', 'tock' and then along comes a lively, healthy, wonderful NORMAL four year old boy exhuberant and if he were here in America amongst any neighborhood or McDonalds play place, playground or in Canada in a park among peers of his own age? He wouldn't seem anything.BUT.NORMAL. Amongst a bunch of elderly men in a French village who are ready to have absolute silence and peace? I would imagine a goat with indigestion is an anomoly and disruptive. I can't imagine what a 4 year old boy with energy and ADHD is to them. Probably thinking he should be taken down to the local Vicar and dunked in the holy water repeatedly. (don't try it either - I did with Dude - did not work) The GREATEST thing about our kids is that they truly separate our real friends and allys from the ones that we couldn't depend on for squat. In all my years I have NO friends left that I feel I could call in the middle of the night and say "I need your help." and they would come running FOR ME. For one reason or another to do with Dude - either his behaviors, or his brushes with the law, or the word psychiatrist? Have caused them to step, together - step away -----and I knew it as it was happening. I'm not a dummy. When I needed them most? When I was crying the most? When I could have used a friend to hug me, to just hand me a tissue? To take me out for a lousy cup of coffee and just smile? They all left. Made excuses, had things to do. Interestingly enough when they needed someone to come get them on a horrible, story night on the side of a road - raining cats and dogs to change a flat beacuse they couldn't get their husbands on a cell? I got a call - hadn't talked to them in over a year - but I got a call. When they were out of money, and had overdrawn their bank accounts and didn't want their husbands to know-I got a call for a loan. When they were so sick they couldn't get out of bed, and their entire family forgot them - we took them groceries, and cleaned their house - fed their animals, fixed their cars...and to this day my DF doesn't get it. And maybe he never will - and that's okay. Even after those times? They still don't come around. That's okay too - I really wouldn't want them too. I don't do what I do to get favors back - I do it because I know how it is to be left alone and lonely. Not a good feeling. But I also know who is a real friend, but more importantly I know how to be one - and I know HOW to be an example to my SON. THAT was worth the price of admission on how NOT to treat people .....So while all this is heartbreaking? Take it from me - it's a valuable lesson even at four - and he gets it. He's actually learning HOW NOT to treat people. And you can tell him so. Because it won't always be like this ----someday you both will move and be in a place that people will appreciate you both for your uniqueness - and they won't call it - weirdness.......and you'll know the difference, and you'll say to your son - NOW THAT is a good model for you. Hope this makes sense. And FYI - my Family? Welsh and Irish on me wee Mothers side. My Father? Native American and Dutch. Your son is unique and beautiful - and don't ever let anyone make him think otherwise ---- Hugs & Love Star [/QUOTE]
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