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<blockquote data-quote="Malika" data-source="post: 439096" data-attributes="member: 11227"><p>I listened to the two talks last night, Marguerite - very interesting. Strange how France is singled out in this way.</p><p>Yes, exhausted, I am sure it is a universal problem. At the same time, when I think of the complete acceptance and lack of criticism/judgement I have from my English friends and a few others, I do realise that another way is possible. Oftentimes it has been friends who have pointed out qualities that J has that I have lost sight of amid all the criticism/opprobrium (now there's a good word <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /> ) And I have definitely got tougher and more resilient... as we all do, I'm quite sure. Last night there was an open-air after-school activity - stories about Africa by two visiting "story tellers", with drums and gourds, and a lion... (not real, alas). The 3 and 4 year olds were there with their mothers... Before the stories began - during them, J was quiet and attentive - J was doing what he does, running around on the grass, shouting, "making an exhibition of himself"; a year or so ago I would have been mortified, really embarrassed in the face of all the good little children sitting quietly in their places. But now, I just have a feeling of acceptance - that's the way it is, some parents understand, probably more do not and criticise or judge, but it's not J's fault and it's not mine, and he has a right to be as he is. </p><p>And then... J was more badly behaved than the other kids from one point of view, but from another... at one point a little girl - 2? - wanted to put something in the bin; J put his arm round her shoulder and gently led her to it. I didn't see any other child doing anything like that. </p><p>It seems to me that life in general consists of the way "the world" sees things and the way things really are... the first is cold, competitive, inhuman often; the second is full of joy and wonder and the only real meaning consists of compassion and following the way of the "good heart". So I think having a child who is different in this way just places us slap bang in the second world, which is very difficult and painful but a kind of gift also. The road less travelled...</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Malika, post: 439096, member: 11227"] I listened to the two talks last night, Marguerite - very interesting. Strange how France is singled out in this way. Yes, exhausted, I am sure it is a universal problem. At the same time, when I think of the complete acceptance and lack of criticism/judgement I have from my English friends and a few others, I do realise that another way is possible. Oftentimes it has been friends who have pointed out qualities that J has that I have lost sight of amid all the criticism/opprobrium (now there's a good word :) ) And I have definitely got tougher and more resilient... as we all do, I'm quite sure. Last night there was an open-air after-school activity - stories about Africa by two visiting "story tellers", with drums and gourds, and a lion... (not real, alas). The 3 and 4 year olds were there with their mothers... Before the stories began - during them, J was quiet and attentive - J was doing what he does, running around on the grass, shouting, "making an exhibition of himself"; a year or so ago I would have been mortified, really embarrassed in the face of all the good little children sitting quietly in their places. But now, I just have a feeling of acceptance - that's the way it is, some parents understand, probably more do not and criticise or judge, but it's not J's fault and it's not mine, and he has a right to be as he is. And then... J was more badly behaved than the other kids from one point of view, but from another... at one point a little girl - 2? - wanted to put something in the bin; J put his arm round her shoulder and gently led her to it. I didn't see any other child doing anything like that. It seems to me that life in general consists of the way "the world" sees things and the way things really are... the first is cold, competitive, inhuman often; the second is full of joy and wonder and the only real meaning consists of compassion and following the way of the "good heart". So I think having a child who is different in this way just places us slap bang in the second world, which is very difficult and painful but a kind of gift also. The road less travelled... [/QUOTE]
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