Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Under seige
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 439413" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>I'm glad the interview help 'gel' things for you. That's important and validating for you.</p><p></p><p>One point I will make - if he is ADHD, he is not automatically ODD. And even if he does seem to fit ODD, it can be turned around simply by handling him in a different way. </p><p></p><p>Another point - there is some similarity in how you handle an ADHD kid, to how you handle an Aspie. There are also some traits that overlap and span from normality to severe autism. Example: today I was getting coffee. I saw a small boy (maybe five years old) running noisily back and forth while his dad waited for the coffee. I watched the boy; to me he seemed to be stimming, he was moving in a repetitive manner, shaking his head as he ran as if trying to make himself dizzy. He was also making the same monotonous noise as he did so, as if trying to enjoy the sensation of the vibration of the sound as he moved. Then he stopped suddenly, leant against his dad and let his dad hold his head in a way I remember difficult child 3 doing. In fact difficult child 3 would sometimes grab your hand and put it on his head, as if instructing you to hold his head in just that way. But then the boy moved away to look at a map on the wall. "Where are we on the map, Daddy?" he asked. The boy listened as his father showed him, then asked, "And where is Grandpa?" Again, the boy watched while his dad showed him. They talked at length and in detail, a much greater detail than either of my boys did at that age. Then their coffee was ready - the dad had a standard coffee but the boy had a "bubbacino" - I don't know if you have this where you are, it is frankly an abomination for real coffee lovers, it is pure froth piled into a tiny cup, faintly coffee flavoured, purely for very small children. By this stage I had struck up a conversation with the dad who said, "We have a ritual with embellishing the bubbacino. First it gets powdered chocolate, then sprinkles, then syrup." And I watched as they did just this, the boy supervising to make sure Daddy did it just right. The dad said his son adored coffee and tea - weird for a small child. I recalled difficult child 3 as a baby, collecting coffee cups and putting his face in them to inhale, like a kid sniffing glue.</p><p></p><p>Now, this boy probably does not have autism. or he might be mildly Aspie, but currently is functioning well socially. He seemed totally unselfconscious of other people's staring and totally uncaring of social niceties. But he may also have been younger than he seemed. What I'm saying - a normal kid can behave this way too. But this was clearly a very bright child, linguistically capable and socially outgoing. Compatible with Aspie, but also compatible with normal. Or with ADHD. But what struck me was the way the boy's father interacted with him; he did not try to discipline, but he did apply some gentle controls, mostly by redirection and use of routine. He allowed the boy to control the coffee ritual for them both because it was a gift to him to do so. it was producing a lovely "just the two of us" time together and the boy was relaxed and happy because the ritual was followed.</p><p></p><p>It was just a couple of minutes out of my morning, but I found this boy fascinating. I see similarities; but I also see differences and perhaps a glimpse of what my boy might have been like, if only...</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 439413, member: 1991"] I'm glad the interview help 'gel' things for you. That's important and validating for you. One point I will make - if he is ADHD, he is not automatically ODD. And even if he does seem to fit ODD, it can be turned around simply by handling him in a different way. Another point - there is some similarity in how you handle an ADHD kid, to how you handle an Aspie. There are also some traits that overlap and span from normality to severe autism. Example: today I was getting coffee. I saw a small boy (maybe five years old) running noisily back and forth while his dad waited for the coffee. I watched the boy; to me he seemed to be stimming, he was moving in a repetitive manner, shaking his head as he ran as if trying to make himself dizzy. He was also making the same monotonous noise as he did so, as if trying to enjoy the sensation of the vibration of the sound as he moved. Then he stopped suddenly, leant against his dad and let his dad hold his head in a way I remember difficult child 3 doing. In fact difficult child 3 would sometimes grab your hand and put it on his head, as if instructing you to hold his head in just that way. But then the boy moved away to look at a map on the wall. "Where are we on the map, Daddy?" he asked. The boy listened as his father showed him, then asked, "And where is Grandpa?" Again, the boy watched while his dad showed him. They talked at length and in detail, a much greater detail than either of my boys did at that age. Then their coffee was ready - the dad had a standard coffee but the boy had a "bubbacino" - I don't know if you have this where you are, it is frankly an abomination for real coffee lovers, it is pure froth piled into a tiny cup, faintly coffee flavoured, purely for very small children. By this stage I had struck up a conversation with the dad who said, "We have a ritual with embellishing the bubbacino. First it gets powdered chocolate, then sprinkles, then syrup." And I watched as they did just this, the boy supervising to make sure Daddy did it just right. The dad said his son adored coffee and tea - weird for a small child. I recalled difficult child 3 as a baby, collecting coffee cups and putting his face in them to inhale, like a kid sniffing glue. Now, this boy probably does not have autism. or he might be mildly Aspie, but currently is functioning well socially. He seemed totally unselfconscious of other people's staring and totally uncaring of social niceties. But he may also have been younger than he seemed. What I'm saying - a normal kid can behave this way too. But this was clearly a very bright child, linguistically capable and socially outgoing. Compatible with Aspie, but also compatible with normal. Or with ADHD. But what struck me was the way the boy's father interacted with him; he did not try to discipline, but he did apply some gentle controls, mostly by redirection and use of routine. He allowed the boy to control the coffee ritual for them both because it was a gift to him to do so. it was producing a lovely "just the two of us" time together and the boy was relaxed and happy because the ritual was followed. It was just a couple of minutes out of my morning, but I found this boy fascinating. I see similarities; but I also see differences and perhaps a glimpse of what my boy might have been like, if only... Marg [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Under seige
Top