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Underwear weirdness, sneaking and hoarding
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<blockquote data-quote="TerryJ2" data-source="post: 79206" data-attributes="member: 3419"><p>Thanks, MicheleL. Sounds like YOU're doing a great job, too!</p><p></p><p>My son has never expressed a gender issue like that. He has always been "all boy" and even at a young age, identified strongly with-traditional Mommy and Daddy relationships.</p><p></p><p>One thing that both easy child and difficult child did was virtually identical, and it made me laugh, not at their distress, but at the whole thing ... I have several Michael Jackson tapes with-his photo on the front. When easy child was about 5, she saw the name, but frowned when she saw the picture. "Is this a girl?" she asked.</p><p>"No, he's a guy."</p><p>"No, she's NOT!"</p><p>"Yes, he is."</p><p>"NO, SHE'S NOT!" Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!</p><p>Cried and screamed for 5 min.</p><p></p><p>Repeat scenario when difficult child is 5.</p><p></p><p>Kids like clarity when it comes to gender ID, especially when they're very little.</p><p>However, when it comes to fabric, or playing with-dolls, I couldn't care less whether it's a boy or girl thing. I really wanted to do the unisex thing, having been raised in the 60s and 70s, but kids are born as little personalities with-their own minds, no matter what you do.</p><p>I saw a special yrs ago, that showed a film of boys and girls playing with-blocks. It was showing how most brains are wired and how you can tell a boy from a girl from outward behavior.</p><p>The girls, with-o exception, laid the blocks out horizontally. The boys stacked them to the ceiling.</p><p>Wow.</p><p>They interviewed Gloria Steinem and a bunch of other people who insisted that was hogwash.</p><p>But the beauty of it was that these were non-gender toys.</p><p></p><p>difficult child has always stacked things "up," and in the past 3 yrs, has learned to make them more diverse and 3D. When he played with-dolls, he always made them do army things. (This, despite the fact that I did not allow toy guns in the house, and did not allow military cartoons. You can see how effective that was.)</p><p></p><p>The neighbor girl asked him to play Barbies with-her when he was 5. He thought about it long and hard. Finally he said, "Does she have a car?"</p><p>ROFL!</p><p>Yes, they played Barbies together.</p><p></p><p>You are absolutely right to do what you're doing, Michele. In fact, if there were more people like you, I think there would be FEWER gender identity issues, because we create problems with-our centuries old force-feeding, one-size-fits-all.</p><p></p><p>Was it Ann Landers who, yrs ago, answered a parent's concern about his son who liked to play with-dolls? She told the parent to change out the baby buggy to a wagon. The kid continued to play and was very happy. The kid was heterosexual, grew up, got married, etc.</p><p>It was all the PARENT's problem.</p><p></p><p>So, maybe this is MY problem and I should just go buy a bunch of diff. types of underwear, toss them into difficult child's room casually, and say they were on sale for 50 cents ea.</p><p></p><p>Either way, bugging difficult child about it is not going to solve anything.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="TerryJ2, post: 79206, member: 3419"] Thanks, MicheleL. Sounds like YOU're doing a great job, too! My son has never expressed a gender issue like that. He has always been "all boy" and even at a young age, identified strongly with-traditional Mommy and Daddy relationships. One thing that both easy child and difficult child did was virtually identical, and it made me laugh, not at their distress, but at the whole thing ... I have several Michael Jackson tapes with-his photo on the front. When easy child was about 5, she saw the name, but frowned when she saw the picture. "Is this a girl?" she asked. "No, he's a guy." "No, she's NOT!" "Yes, he is." "NO, SHE'S NOT!" Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! Cried and screamed for 5 min. Repeat scenario when difficult child is 5. Kids like clarity when it comes to gender ID, especially when they're very little. However, when it comes to fabric, or playing with-dolls, I couldn't care less whether it's a boy or girl thing. I really wanted to do the unisex thing, having been raised in the 60s and 70s, but kids are born as little personalities with-their own minds, no matter what you do. I saw a special yrs ago, that showed a film of boys and girls playing with-blocks. It was showing how most brains are wired and how you can tell a boy from a girl from outward behavior. The girls, with-o exception, laid the blocks out horizontally. The boys stacked them to the ceiling. Wow. They interviewed Gloria Steinem and a bunch of other people who insisted that was hogwash. But the beauty of it was that these were non-gender toys. difficult child has always stacked things "up," and in the past 3 yrs, has learned to make them more diverse and 3D. When he played with-dolls, he always made them do army things. (This, despite the fact that I did not allow toy guns in the house, and did not allow military cartoons. You can see how effective that was.) The neighbor girl asked him to play Barbies with-her when he was 5. He thought about it long and hard. Finally he said, "Does she have a car?" ROFL! Yes, they played Barbies together. You are absolutely right to do what you're doing, Michele. In fact, if there were more people like you, I think there would be FEWER gender identity issues, because we create problems with-our centuries old force-feeding, one-size-fits-all. Was it Ann Landers who, yrs ago, answered a parent's concern about his son who liked to play with-dolls? She told the parent to change out the baby buggy to a wagon. The kid continued to play and was very happy. The kid was heterosexual, grew up, got married, etc. It was all the PARENT's problem. So, maybe this is MY problem and I should just go buy a bunch of diff. types of underwear, toss them into difficult child's room casually, and say they were on sale for 50 cents ea. Either way, bugging difficult child about it is not going to solve anything. [/QUOTE]
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