So, I cleaned difficult child's room the other day because he swiped my phone again (he plays games on it and then lies) and I was going crazy looking for it. I found a half doz. small lunch sized bags of goldfish and other wheat items that were supposed to be for easy child's lunches. (We obviously can't have them in the house. Period. He's got such a bad craving for wheat, and knows he's allergic to it.) Today, easy child asked if she could talk to me privately. She was doing the laundry, and found 3 pr of her panties inside difficult child's boxer shorts. Apparently he wears them ... we don't know if he wears them to school like that or just at home. This happened a few wks ago and I confronted him (I was calm about it), and he first said he didn't know, then that it got tangled up in the laundry. He stonewalled and I didn't get anywhere. easy child is very upset about it, which I understand. We had a big blowup with-difficult child tonight, so I decided that to pin one more thing on him would be counterproductive. We have an appointment. with-the child psychiatric Tues. and I will ask him what to do. We'll split the appointment in half and talk privately first, then bring in difficult child afterward. Between the urine in the bottle, the kinky underwear, and the hoarding, I am wondering if this is a pattern, or a coincidence. All kids sneak food into their rooms. But it's one thing on top of another, and with-a difficult child, whatever is going on is so exaggerated, I just can't see the forest for the trees. Tonight he reverted to his old manner of threatening me, shaking his fist in my face and screaming how he hates me, over and over again. I stayed calm throughout, but he ended up in a total meltdown that lasted about 45 min. It was because he wanted to go back outside to play with-his friends at 7:30 after dinner, and I had initially said yes, but he was VERY rude to me and I took away his privileges. He knows the rules and consequences. I was calm while he was shaking his fist, because we've been through this, but husband and easy child were very worried that difficult child was really going to attack me, so husband interceded. That made the meltdown worse. It's so hard to know what to do. I mean, if you just let him almost attack you, then run to his room, it's like he gets away with-it, but if you try to stop him immediately, it's seen as provocation. So, back to the panties. Any ideas?