Hi, this is my first post. I’ve been reading a lot here in the last week or so. I actually googled, ”can I kick my adult son out of the house“ and it brought me here. My 21yo son is a schizophrenic.
Some background, my husband and I have three children, the difficult child is our oldest son, age 21. Looking back, he probably is on the autism spectrum and definitely has ADHD It we didn’t treat it. He always excelled academically in school so we thought he would outgrow it. He never really was able to have successful friendships, though. I admit we were a busy family with sports and clubs and should have recognized he needed some help.
He started using marajuana when he was 17. He didn’t much drink and I figured it was normal, I smoked plenty of pot in high school and college. During his junior and senior year he held a part time job at a department store and was doing well. He got into a good college near us and lived on campus for a year. Grades were ok. Beginning his sophomore year, he told us he wanted to live at home and commute to school. We said fine. Then the pandemic hit.
Things go downhill fast from here. During lockdown he never left his room. He would order Door Dash once a day, and maybe use the bathroom a couple times. His curtains were drawn constantly. What we didn’t know was that he was doing huge amounts of high level cannabis through vaping and edibles.
This continued until one day last October (2020) when he came down the stairs and spoke to my husband and I with complete gibberish. That’s what I called it then. Now I know it was disorganized speech. It sacred us so much we took him to the ER and he was admitted for a 24 hour hold. He’s very smart and adept at fooling doctors, police, etc. and can pull it together to say the right things to seem ok.
Within a day we took him to a psychiatrist who diagnosed him with Cannabis Induced Psychosis. He was given medications to take. Well, he googled the medications and one of them, Seraquel I think, was labeled as anti-psychotic and he wouldn’t take it because he thinks he doesn’t have that, only ADHD.
We got him to agree to take an anti-depressent and things chugged along for awhile until September 2021. He turned 21 in April and stopped using cannabis and switched to beer. A lot of beer, like 12+ beers a night. He began harassing his friends in the evening and getting into loud arguments. His disrupted our home greatly. My daughter needs to study and do homework, it is triggering for me because I grew up in a home with drunkennes, fighting, abuse, cops showing up, etc. During the past few months, he was acting very strange, not looking us in the eye, turning his whole head away from anyone he crossed paths with. i Forgot to mention that his good friend died in March 2020 and he started telling us that his friend was calling him, his name popped up on his phone, etc. I believe this was a hallucination.
this is already so long, sorry. So, Thanksgiving came and he was super combative to my husband. This was on going but getting worse and worse. He would project onto him things we felt he thought about himself, ie. Why are you such a loser? You can’t even hold down a job. My husband has a grea job that he is successful at), I have to go everywhere with you to stop you from embarrassing yourself (My husband literally brings him on errands just to get hom out of the house like we used to do when the kids were toddlers), etc.
I had just found this forum and decided to tell him that he can no longer live here if he continues to drink. He said fine, I’ll leave but you have to pay for the hotel. Against my wishes, my husband agreed just to keep the peace so we could have a nice, normal thanksgiving. And we did. After that, we told him we were only paying up to Monday night and that if he agreed to see a doctor and get into treatment, he could come home but he refused. I told him on the phone that that was my last offer. I’m sorry son, I love you but you cannot come home and we won’t be sending you any money. This was a horrible moment for me. I felt like I had to choose between him destroying the four of us or us destroying him. Brutal.
he checked into a hotel and has since been attacking us through texts. We sent the mobile crisis unit to his hotel (his friend knew where he was staying) in hopes of getting a 5150 but he knew to calmly say, I am not a danger to myself or others. They could do nothing. This angered him so much that he called the police on us three times in one day falsely reporting there was abuse in the house. The second time he even said my husband was sexually abusing me. I had to speak separately with the police to assure them I am fine and my son is sick. The last time they showed up was at 10:30pm, I was in my pajamas. It was humiliating. Through the last 8 days he has created group texts and included family that live on the other side of the county, my mother, (his grandmother), my brother (his uncle), and two of his friends. He says horrible things about us both, like we are disgraces to our families, I am a b*tch @ss Ho who shouldn’t have had any kids. He also said he knows who his real birth mother is and I need to stop using him to get a tax break. I’m crying as I type this because the most important thing in my liFe is being a mother. I’ve been a stay home mom for 21 years. Devoted myself to volunteering at their schools, driving carpools, baking muffins for sports teams, doing everything for them. And I love doing it but to hear him say these vile things is killing me. I can’t take the pain so I’ve blocked his number on my phone. Unfortunately, my husband won’t because he wants to make sure he’s alive.
my Son has a car we bought for him and three maxed out credit cards. One has a couple thousand left on it. The money is going to run out and then what will he do? I think we can use that as leverage but he’s so bad right now with his illness, delusions, etc. Any time we have texted him he erupts into madness on the family group texts. It’s just awful for my mom to have to see. She is 76 but an active lady. She’s been through a lot in her life and is a rock for me right now.
oh, he’s also texted to my husband 5 or 6 texts that basically say, “if you come near me, I will fire upon you”, “You can die quickly or this can be drawn out”. We think he’s projecting. He has no firearms and no way to get one but we changed the locks anyway and are looking into getting a restraining order. I cannot believe this has happened all in the last week. I don’t know how I am surviving this. It feels like the worst, most painful grief imaginable. I’m trying to keep it together for my other two kids, especially as the holidays are here. We were picking out a tree at the Christmas tree lot and I get a text from him that says, “I’m taking down your entire family”. I actually laughed out loud at the absurdity of it. That night I blocked him and it’s been a huge help.
if you read this, thank you. Any advice? Suggestions? How will we ever get through this?
Some background, my husband and I have three children, the difficult child is our oldest son, age 21. Looking back, he probably is on the autism spectrum and definitely has ADHD It we didn’t treat it. He always excelled academically in school so we thought he would outgrow it. He never really was able to have successful friendships, though. I admit we were a busy family with sports and clubs and should have recognized he needed some help.
He started using marajuana when he was 17. He didn’t much drink and I figured it was normal, I smoked plenty of pot in high school and college. During his junior and senior year he held a part time job at a department store and was doing well. He got into a good college near us and lived on campus for a year. Grades were ok. Beginning his sophomore year, he told us he wanted to live at home and commute to school. We said fine. Then the pandemic hit.
Things go downhill fast from here. During lockdown he never left his room. He would order Door Dash once a day, and maybe use the bathroom a couple times. His curtains were drawn constantly. What we didn’t know was that he was doing huge amounts of high level cannabis through vaping and edibles.
This continued until one day last October (2020) when he came down the stairs and spoke to my husband and I with complete gibberish. That’s what I called it then. Now I know it was disorganized speech. It sacred us so much we took him to the ER and he was admitted for a 24 hour hold. He’s very smart and adept at fooling doctors, police, etc. and can pull it together to say the right things to seem ok.
Within a day we took him to a psychiatrist who diagnosed him with Cannabis Induced Psychosis. He was given medications to take. Well, he googled the medications and one of them, Seraquel I think, was labeled as anti-psychotic and he wouldn’t take it because he thinks he doesn’t have that, only ADHD.
We got him to agree to take an anti-depressent and things chugged along for awhile until September 2021. He turned 21 in April and stopped using cannabis and switched to beer. A lot of beer, like 12+ beers a night. He began harassing his friends in the evening and getting into loud arguments. His disrupted our home greatly. My daughter needs to study and do homework, it is triggering for me because I grew up in a home with drunkennes, fighting, abuse, cops showing up, etc. During the past few months, he was acting very strange, not looking us in the eye, turning his whole head away from anyone he crossed paths with. i Forgot to mention that his good friend died in March 2020 and he started telling us that his friend was calling him, his name popped up on his phone, etc. I believe this was a hallucination.
this is already so long, sorry. So, Thanksgiving came and he was super combative to my husband. This was on going but getting worse and worse. He would project onto him things we felt he thought about himself, ie. Why are you such a loser? You can’t even hold down a job. My husband has a grea job that he is successful at), I have to go everywhere with you to stop you from embarrassing yourself (My husband literally brings him on errands just to get hom out of the house like we used to do when the kids were toddlers), etc.
I had just found this forum and decided to tell him that he can no longer live here if he continues to drink. He said fine, I’ll leave but you have to pay for the hotel. Against my wishes, my husband agreed just to keep the peace so we could have a nice, normal thanksgiving. And we did. After that, we told him we were only paying up to Monday night and that if he agreed to see a doctor and get into treatment, he could come home but he refused. I told him on the phone that that was my last offer. I’m sorry son, I love you but you cannot come home and we won’t be sending you any money. This was a horrible moment for me. I felt like I had to choose between him destroying the four of us or us destroying him. Brutal.
he checked into a hotel and has since been attacking us through texts. We sent the mobile crisis unit to his hotel (his friend knew where he was staying) in hopes of getting a 5150 but he knew to calmly say, I am not a danger to myself or others. They could do nothing. This angered him so much that he called the police on us three times in one day falsely reporting there was abuse in the house. The second time he even said my husband was sexually abusing me. I had to speak separately with the police to assure them I am fine and my son is sick. The last time they showed up was at 10:30pm, I was in my pajamas. It was humiliating. Through the last 8 days he has created group texts and included family that live on the other side of the county, my mother, (his grandmother), my brother (his uncle), and two of his friends. He says horrible things about us both, like we are disgraces to our families, I am a b*tch @ss Ho who shouldn’t have had any kids. He also said he knows who his real birth mother is and I need to stop using him to get a tax break. I’m crying as I type this because the most important thing in my liFe is being a mother. I’ve been a stay home mom for 21 years. Devoted myself to volunteering at their schools, driving carpools, baking muffins for sports teams, doing everything for them. And I love doing it but to hear him say these vile things is killing me. I can’t take the pain so I’ve blocked his number on my phone. Unfortunately, my husband won’t because he wants to make sure he’s alive.
my Son has a car we bought for him and three maxed out credit cards. One has a couple thousand left on it. The money is going to run out and then what will he do? I think we can use that as leverage but he’s so bad right now with his illness, delusions, etc. Any time we have texted him he erupts into madness on the family group texts. It’s just awful for my mom to have to see. She is 76 but an active lady. She’s been through a lot in her life and is a rock for me right now.
oh, he’s also texted to my husband 5 or 6 texts that basically say, “if you come near me, I will fire upon you”, “You can die quickly or this can be drawn out”. We think he’s projecting. He has no firearms and no way to get one but we changed the locks anyway and are looking into getting a restraining order. I cannot believe this has happened all in the last week. I don’t know how I am surviving this. It feels like the worst, most painful grief imaginable. I’m trying to keep it together for my other two kids, especially as the holidays are here. We were picking out a tree at the Christmas tree lot and I get a text from him that says, “I’m taking down your entire family”. I actually laughed out loud at the absurdity of it. That night I blocked him and it’s been a huge help.
if you read this, thank you. Any advice? Suggestions? How will we ever get through this?
. This ak47 hold a 100.”
