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Ungrateful adult daughters
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<blockquote data-quote="Bookwitch1" data-source="post: 739983" data-attributes="member: 23386"><p>The only thing to do is to STOP DOING ANYTHING FOR HER! It will go against everything in you, especially if you are like me and have a hard time establishing boundaries and are super accommodating, also like me!!! I have one child, a daughter who is 25. I've had to face up to the fact that she isn't a very nice person a large part of the time, especially to me. Yes, she uses drugs. No, I was far from a perfect mother but loved her and did the very best I could like all you moms out there reading this. I made a living, finished college, rented then bought the house she was raised in; she was very well taken care of......she is grown now and I could not take the abuse anymore. My life is a happier, more peaceful place. We must consider them NOT as our babies, but as full-grown adults. We would not put up with the horrible treatment from anyone else. Much love and support to all you out there going through this; it comes down to YOUR life.....it's short, make YOURSELF happy and leave it up to THEM to make themselves happy. Love them, but do it from afar if needed and it IS usually needed. AGAIN, DO NOTHING FOR HIM/HER......so easy to fall back into it.....I've done it a thousand times.....they are masters of manipulation. When you stop doing for them they usually stop coming around or calling, this may take a few tries of them calling/texting/emailing always needing/wanting something but NEVER asking about how you are doing or any of the family.....that's a dead giveaway. As I write this it sounds like I'm dealing with a psychopath, perhaps in a mild way, I am. Seems to me this is happening far more often than it used to.....I wish I understood the psychological or societal reasons for it. SUPPORT to you all and much love.....my heart goes out to you all!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Bookwitch1, post: 739983, member: 23386"] The only thing to do is to STOP DOING ANYTHING FOR HER! It will go against everything in you, especially if you are like me and have a hard time establishing boundaries and are super accommodating, also like me!!! I have one child, a daughter who is 25. I've had to face up to the fact that she isn't a very nice person a large part of the time, especially to me. Yes, she uses drugs. No, I was far from a perfect mother but loved her and did the very best I could like all you moms out there reading this. I made a living, finished college, rented then bought the house she was raised in; she was very well taken care of......she is grown now and I could not take the abuse anymore. My life is a happier, more peaceful place. We must consider them NOT as our babies, but as full-grown adults. We would not put up with the horrible treatment from anyone else. Much love and support to all you out there going through this; it comes down to YOUR life.....it's short, make YOURSELF happy and leave it up to THEM to make themselves happy. Love them, but do it from afar if needed and it IS usually needed. AGAIN, DO NOTHING FOR HIM/HER......so easy to fall back into it.....I've done it a thousand times.....they are masters of manipulation. When you stop doing for them they usually stop coming around or calling, this may take a few tries of them calling/texting/emailing always needing/wanting something but NEVER asking about how you are doing or any of the family.....that's a dead giveaway. As I write this it sounds like I'm dealing with a psychopath, perhaps in a mild way, I am. Seems to me this is happening far more often than it used to.....I wish I understood the psychological or societal reasons for it. SUPPORT to you all and much love.....my heart goes out to you all! [/QUOTE]
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