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Unreasonable Expectations?
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 597007" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>Thank you ALL!</p><p></p><p>The reason I will NOT praise husband for putting food away is because in his mind that means he has taken care of it the one an ONLY time he will be responsible for it FOR A YEAR. Yes, he actually things (and only once had the cajones to actually say) "But I already put the food away once this year! It only needs to happen once, it should not need to be done by me again until next year!"</p><p></p><p>He did NOT mean next year as tomorrow night because it is Dec 31. He meant 365 days later. I will NOT EVER praise someone for a basic task that they flat out will refuse to ever do again. My husband is really odd. For many things lavish praise does work. But for some things, nothing works but stone cold b itchiness. Putting food up and getting kids to do chores are the two big ones. I have no clue why. I usually use lavish praise to motivate husband, with common sense sprinkles to help him see WHY something must be done, but if I get no results or stupidity like the once a year koi, that praise is GONE for quite a while for that task.</p><p></p><p>I did get a bit more info. Seems these were made earlier and husband 'forgot' he said okay. He actually told thank you it was okay and thank you got J to do it. thank you totally Tom Sawyered her to get her to make them. After the marshmallow was poured in, she had a seizure and stared into space for several minutes before trying to stir. thank you, who has made these four times in the last 2 or 3 weeks, claimed he thought she was 'supposed to let them sit before stirring". Total nonsense of course, he knows how to amke them. He just didn't want to bother but wantd to give some to a friend who was moving away that night. </p><p></p><p>You are very right that I need to make husband do the cleanup if he okays the project and he doesn't make them clean up. I actually thought we had agreed on that, but husband thought I was somehow 'joking' when I told him that if he would not make them clean then he had to do it. Sure I did. Just like I climbed up onto the roof and jumped off, only to fly insead of falling like a rock to the ground. He was NOT happy when I told him that if he could not get the kids to clean up,then I was going to insist that HE do all the cleanup to my standards. </p><p></p><p>He sure got the kids up and moving after church, lol.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 597007, member: 1233"] Thank you ALL! The reason I will NOT praise husband for putting food away is because in his mind that means he has taken care of it the one an ONLY time he will be responsible for it FOR A YEAR. Yes, he actually things (and only once had the cajones to actually say) "But I already put the food away once this year! It only needs to happen once, it should not need to be done by me again until next year!" He did NOT mean next year as tomorrow night because it is Dec 31. He meant 365 days later. I will NOT EVER praise someone for a basic task that they flat out will refuse to ever do again. My husband is really odd. For many things lavish praise does work. But for some things, nothing works but stone cold b itchiness. Putting food up and getting kids to do chores are the two big ones. I have no clue why. I usually use lavish praise to motivate husband, with common sense sprinkles to help him see WHY something must be done, but if I get no results or stupidity like the once a year koi, that praise is GONE for quite a while for that task. I did get a bit more info. Seems these were made earlier and husband 'forgot' he said okay. He actually told thank you it was okay and thank you got J to do it. thank you totally Tom Sawyered her to get her to make them. After the marshmallow was poured in, she had a seizure and stared into space for several minutes before trying to stir. thank you, who has made these four times in the last 2 or 3 weeks, claimed he thought she was 'supposed to let them sit before stirring". Total nonsense of course, he knows how to amke them. He just didn't want to bother but wantd to give some to a friend who was moving away that night. You are very right that I need to make husband do the cleanup if he okays the project and he doesn't make them clean up. I actually thought we had agreed on that, but husband thought I was somehow 'joking' when I told him that if he would not make them clean then he had to do it. Sure I did. Just like I climbed up onto the roof and jumped off, only to fly insead of falling like a rock to the ground. He was NOT happy when I told him that if he could not get the kids to clean up,then I was going to insist that HE do all the cleanup to my standards. He sure got the kids up and moving after church, lol. [/QUOTE]
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