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<blockquote data-quote="Echolette" data-source="post: 704448" data-attributes="member: 17269"><p>That is some beautiful dark humor right there! Is it a little sad that our shared darkness makes me laugh? I hope it helps you as well...</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>And this really made me laugh...and kind of admire you!</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>It is a good and useful word. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Alb, this quote is really why I am posting on this thread. We never know what of the things we read and see or write and say will make a difference...this one did to me. The clarity of it. The cutting through the gaslighting, and our own entrenched habits of not contradicting other people, or respecting what people say (these last two are NOT useful in talking to Difficult Child's!) . When my son called from jail to tell me that he had decided to forego mental health court and instead stand for a criminal trial, which means he will serve his time and be released as a 23 year old with a felony on his record and no supports to transition into the community BUT THAT HE CAN MAKE IT ON HIS OWN, I had the wherewithall, because of your post, to say..."you are either dangerously deluded or lying to me. I don't know which. YOu haven't been able to make it even with support. If you could do it you would have done it on one of your prior releases. It is very hard and almost impossible to do alone, and you do not have the personal strength or wherewithall at this point in time to do that. This is magical thinking"</p><p>And then I cried, which I think softened it up enough to make it sound less like an attack and more like a mother's anguish.</p><p>Which it was. </p><p>But I'm so glad I didn't play along with him, honor his (dumbass) choices in the same way I would a saner, more accountable person. I feel good that I said the truth. I think he heard it. For a moment. </p><p>Sometimes a moment of clarity or a moment of true connection is the best we can hope for. </p><p>Thank you for your post, and for giving me the tools I needed to get there.</p><p></p><p>Echo</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Echolette, post: 704448, member: 17269"] That is some beautiful dark humor right there! Is it a little sad that our shared darkness makes me laugh? I hope it helps you as well... And this really made me laugh...and kind of admire you! It is a good and useful word. Alb, this quote is really why I am posting on this thread. We never know what of the things we read and see or write and say will make a difference...this one did to me. The clarity of it. The cutting through the gaslighting, and our own entrenched habits of not contradicting other people, or respecting what people say (these last two are NOT useful in talking to Difficult Child's!) . When my son called from jail to tell me that he had decided to forego mental health court and instead stand for a criminal trial, which means he will serve his time and be released as a 23 year old with a felony on his record and no supports to transition into the community BUT THAT HE CAN MAKE IT ON HIS OWN, I had the wherewithall, because of your post, to say..."you are either dangerously deluded or lying to me. I don't know which. YOu haven't been able to make it even with support. If you could do it you would have done it on one of your prior releases. It is very hard and almost impossible to do alone, and you do not have the personal strength or wherewithall at this point in time to do that. This is magical thinking" And then I cried, which I think softened it up enough to make it sound less like an attack and more like a mother's anguish. Which it was. But I'm so glad I didn't play along with him, honor his (dumbass) choices in the same way I would a saner, more accountable person. I feel good that I said the truth. I think he heard it. For a moment. Sometimes a moment of clarity or a moment of true connection is the best we can hope for. Thank you for your post, and for giving me the tools I needed to get there. Echo [/QUOTE]
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