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<blockquote data-quote="Lil" data-source="post: 705185" data-attributes="member: 17309"><p>THIS! This is me exactly. I've more than once had people say I want to take care of him, I want him home. NO!!! I really don't! I want him to be on his own and OKAY. I want him to call every now and then and tell me he's doing alright. I don't want him to complain about money and beat around the bush until I finally just say, "Fine! I'll send you something." I don't want him to whine about the life he has made for himself being hard. Of course it's hard! That's what happens when you're homeless. Yes...one of those conversations happened just today. He's thinking about coming home. I don't actually want him home. I just want him to be okay. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite3" alt=":(" title="Frown :(" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":(" /></p><p></p><p>I do have a very hard time telling him no. I have a hard time saying, "Freeze. You brought it on yourself." I don't want him hungry and I don't want him cold. But I don't know what to do to make that better - or how to sit back and do nothing, hoping he can make that better all by himself. When is a small gift to help them through a hard time enabling instead of assisting? At what point does a hand-up turn into a hand-out? </p><p></p><p> I wish I could tell.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Lil, post: 705185, member: 17309"] THIS! This is me exactly. I've more than once had people say I want to take care of him, I want him home. NO!!! I really don't! I want him to be on his own and OKAY. I want him to call every now and then and tell me he's doing alright. I don't want him to complain about money and beat around the bush until I finally just say, "Fine! I'll send you something." I don't want him to whine about the life he has made for himself being hard. Of course it's hard! That's what happens when you're homeless. Yes...one of those conversations happened just today. He's thinking about coming home. I don't actually want him home. I just want him to be okay. :( I do have a very hard time telling him no. I have a hard time saying, "Freeze. You brought it on yourself." I don't want him hungry and I don't want him cold. But I don't know what to do to make that better - or how to sit back and do nothing, hoping he can make that better all by himself. When is a small gift to help them through a hard time enabling instead of assisting? At what point does a hand-up turn into a hand-out? I wish I could tell. [/QUOTE]
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