difficult child is leaving this evening after what will be our last counseling appointment. I'm at work this morning to do payroll but then I'm leaving. I want to make sure I've filled all her scripts to take with her and also to help her pack...almost 18 and the kid will sometimes only pack pants with no tops or vice versa. I'm hoping that going to her dad's will help her in a few ways. One, I hope she and her dad can have some open and honest conversations that will answer some deep, long awaited questions for difficult child. She has such a skewed perception of the reasons for which we divorced and I am hoping that exh will be honest about things with her (he says he will). I hope that she will realize that H (her stepdad) wasn't the meanie she makes him out to be, nor did he steal me away from her father. I hope she realizes that no matter where she is geographically, she will still always be expected to behave responsibly and pitch in at home, get a job, make something of herself, compromise and behave as the adult she believes herself to be. I hope she figures out how to use a washer, dryer, and dishwasher. I hope she misses home and all it's comforts that are often taken for granted. I hope she grows up and stops whining about how unfair her life and everyone in it is. As you can see, I am heartbroken, but I do think this is the best move for her (and us) right now. Her dad says he's up for the challenge and the one advantage her will have in NY is that she doesn't have any friends to run to when things get tough. He's already set up a job interview for her tomorrow. She will stay with her aunt and uncle while he's away visiting easy child in VA for the weekend and when he gets back, she and he will reaarrange and clean her room so it's ready for living in. Why he didn't do this BEFORE she arrived is beyond me, but I have no control over that. I feel defeated and a little like I dropped the ball somehow...like, why, with all my concerted efforts, couldn't I have made the difference for her? Why wasn't I effective in helping her to find her path and realize what she needed to do to become an independent adult? Why does it feel like I've been sucker punched and left with breath? Please keep a prayer for difficult child (and me) today. Thanks.