Hello All--
OK, Here's a quick update...
When difficult child came home from school yesterday I simply asked (no nagging, yelling or anything) whether she had turned in the missing assignment that the teacher had called about. difficult child reported that she had not--but that homework assignments were no big deal gradewise....and that she had the rest of the year to make up missing assignments if she wanted....and besides, if she got a bad grade in English she could just drop the class so the grades didn't count and that way she would still pass 8th Grade. (And of course, she was very agitated and In-My-Face during this exchange).
I responded by smiling and telling her that I was SO relieved to hear that the missing assignments were not the big deal that I thought they were. OK, no problem then! And I turned my back...end of conversation.
difficult child then became really angry and stomped off to find her brother (which is usually the sign that serious trouble is brewing)--so I had to immediately intervene before she did anything nasty to him.
I stopped her and pointed out that I had not yelled at her, she was not in trouble--she interrupted that I thought she was lying--I said "I didn't call you a liar...if you are telling me that the assignments are no big deal then I believe you."
Her face got very red and she was visibly upset...but she didn't say anything further and she went into her bedroom and closed the door.
This morning--I called the school and let the English teacher know what had happened. The teacher and the guidance counselor have decided to handle the homework and incomplete classwork issues at school by talking with difficult child about the serious impact her poor grades could have on her future. They have agreed not to mention that Mom or Dad spoke with the teachers--lest difficult child think that there is some sort of "conspiracy" against her.
So now the situation is out of my hands....
I hope that I am handling this the right way...?
--DaisyF
OK, Here's a quick update...
When difficult child came home from school yesterday I simply asked (no nagging, yelling or anything) whether she had turned in the missing assignment that the teacher had called about. difficult child reported that she had not--but that homework assignments were no big deal gradewise....and that she had the rest of the year to make up missing assignments if she wanted....and besides, if she got a bad grade in English she could just drop the class so the grades didn't count and that way she would still pass 8th Grade. (And of course, she was very agitated and In-My-Face during this exchange).
I responded by smiling and telling her that I was SO relieved to hear that the missing assignments were not the big deal that I thought they were. OK, no problem then! And I turned my back...end of conversation.
difficult child then became really angry and stomped off to find her brother (which is usually the sign that serious trouble is brewing)--so I had to immediately intervene before she did anything nasty to him.
I stopped her and pointed out that I had not yelled at her, she was not in trouble--she interrupted that I thought she was lying--I said "I didn't call you a liar...if you are telling me that the assignments are no big deal then I believe you."
Her face got very red and she was visibly upset...but she didn't say anything further and she went into her bedroom and closed the door.
This morning--I called the school and let the English teacher know what had happened. The teacher and the guidance counselor have decided to handle the homework and incomplete classwork issues at school by talking with difficult child about the serious impact her poor grades could have on her future. They have agreed not to mention that Mom or Dad spoke with the teachers--lest difficult child think that there is some sort of "conspiracy" against her.
So now the situation is out of my hands....
I hope that I am handling this the right way...?
--DaisyF