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Substance Abuse
update-maintaining the status quo-chatty post ahead
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<blockquote data-quote="SuZir" data-source="post: 539214" data-attributes="member: 14557"><p>Very true. And very <strong>hard!</strong></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Yes, it does ease my anxieties to hear his voice, hear that he is talking normal things, hear he sounds okay. It of course does not guarantee anything. He is a good liar especially when it comes to specifics. But to be honest, his mood does come through. And that is a thing I worry. Not so much what he says he is doing or anything. And I don't even ask about gambling, it wouldn't even be helpful, I just want to know he is not in any acute crisis. </p><p></p><p>I know I can not prevent them anyway. I know I can not solve his crisis, but not knowing is worse than knowing for me. Maybe it is just, that I'm getting 'my fix' and very few 'bad trips' lately. Even his crisis he has been handling better than I hoped for.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Physically we are not so close, he lives three hours away and we do meet usually only about once a month. I would like to see him more often but he is busy (and honestly is, it's not (at least just) avoidance.) He does call, mostly when he needs something (I don't mind, his needs are mostly appropriate, he needs advice with some practical matter or something) or because he needs to talk about his finances (I do control his finances from his own request to help him stay clean from gambling, it was rough this winter, but lately he has been more respectful about it.)</p><p></p><p>I know that part of what i do is not healthy, I just have very hard time letting go.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SuZir, post: 539214, member: 14557"] Very true. And very [B]hard![/B] Yes, it does ease my anxieties to hear his voice, hear that he is talking normal things, hear he sounds okay. It of course does not guarantee anything. He is a good liar especially when it comes to specifics. But to be honest, his mood does come through. And that is a thing I worry. Not so much what he says he is doing or anything. And I don't even ask about gambling, it wouldn't even be helpful, I just want to know he is not in any acute crisis. I know I can not prevent them anyway. I know I can not solve his crisis, but not knowing is worse than knowing for me. Maybe it is just, that I'm getting 'my fix' and very few 'bad trips' lately. Even his crisis he has been handling better than I hoped for. Physically we are not so close, he lives three hours away and we do meet usually only about once a month. I would like to see him more often but he is busy (and honestly is, it's not (at least just) avoidance.) He does call, mostly when he needs something (I don't mind, his needs are mostly appropriate, he needs advice with some practical matter or something) or because he needs to talk about his finances (I do control his finances from his own request to help him stay clean from gambling, it was rough this winter, but lately he has been more respectful about it.) I know that part of what i do is not healthy, I just have very hard time letting go. [/QUOTE]
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