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Parent Emeritus
Update, not a good one but meh no expectations on that
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<blockquote data-quote="Nandina" data-source="post: 760181" data-attributes="member: 23742"><p>Deni, I went back and reread your initial post and saw a couple things I wanted to comment on but forgot to!</p><p></p><p>(Since I still don’t know how to quote—any help accepted!) I’ll just say...what you said about not wanting to contribute when you’re in a negative head space really rang true to me. </p><p></p><p>I have been in that space recently and am slowly crawling out of it. Glad to see that you are too.</p><p></p><p>We all probably crawl in and out of that head space at times when our kids are off the rails. If we didn’t have those moments of intense feeling for our beloved sons and daughters, we wouldn’t be human. But at some point we realize that it’s time to focus on ourselves, if we can do it. Some of us take longer than others to get there, just like some of our kids take longer to heal, if in fact, they can. Sadly, some are never able to. That hurts my heart, as a mom, who like any mom here, always did the very best she could for her kids.</p><p></p><p>I feel so much for all the mothers here who have abusive children who are mentally ill, or mentally ill and using drugs that compound and exacerbate their condition. The abuse your children have tried to force on you is just appalling and turns my stomach. I realize you probably become hardened to some of it, knowing that it comes from the illness and not the soul of your adult child. But I know it hurts your soul to hear that kind of abuse even once. It certainly would mine.</p><p></p><p>I have little experience with mental illness, although lots with addiction. I do have experience though, with the pain of having a wayward “adult” child. It waxes and wanes... Deni, I pray that your son will get the help he needs.</p><p></p><p></p><p>Love and hugs, Nandina</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nandina, post: 760181, member: 23742"] Deni, I went back and reread your initial post and saw a couple things I wanted to comment on but forgot to! (Since I still don’t know how to quote—any help accepted!) I’ll just say...what you said about not wanting to contribute when you’re in a negative head space really rang true to me. I have been in that space recently and am slowly crawling out of it. Glad to see that you are too. We all probably crawl in and out of that head space at times when our kids are off the rails. If we didn’t have those moments of intense feeling for our beloved sons and daughters, we wouldn’t be human. But at some point we realize that it’s time to focus on ourselves, if we can do it. Some of us take longer than others to get there, just like some of our kids take longer to heal, if in fact, they can. Sadly, some are never able to. That hurts my heart, as a mom, who like any mom here, always did the very best she could for her kids. I feel so much for all the mothers here who have abusive children who are mentally ill, or mentally ill and using drugs that compound and exacerbate their condition. The abuse your children have tried to force on you is just appalling and turns my stomach. I realize you probably become hardened to some of it, knowing that it comes from the illness and not the soul of your adult child. But I know it hurts your soul to hear that kind of abuse even once. It certainly would mine. I have little experience with mental illness, although lots with addiction. I do have experience though, with the pain of having a wayward “adult” child. It waxes and wanes... Deni, I pray that your son will get the help he needs. Love and hugs, Nandina [/QUOTE]
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