Update.. not good. Trying to figure out what to do

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by mavh2005, Sep 17, 2012.

  1. mavh2005

    mavh2005 Member

    Well, BM has a good grip on dealing with difficult child. So we thought anyway. STBX still has his head in the sand. BM and I are getting along really well. She knows I want difficult child to get better and will do everything I can do to help her. BM told me difficult child was stealing again and she wanted to have her cop friends come over and arrest difficult child to scare the **** out of her. That didn't happen. But, I'm a paralegal student and have the local States Attorney as one of my professors. I was asking him what can we do. So, Friday he had a meeting with BM and difficult child. He scared the **** out of her (so we thought), brought in a detective and told her exactly what would happen to her if she stole again. Well... Saturday BM goes out to the store, leaving her husband home with difficult child, her siblings and cousin. difficult child and cousin were "pretending" to smoke pretzels. They lit them. When they heard BM's husband coming, they thru the lit pretzels in a closet. Cousin told the husband what they were doing.

    Come to find out, difficult child threatened cousin saying if she didn't do what she was told, difficult child would kill her and another friend. BM has grounded difficult child to her room.. no clue for how long. When BM told me this yesterday, my immediate reaction was 1) press charges and 2) get her admitted to a pysch hospital ASAP. Neither happened. I am terrified to send my daughter to her Dad's house... STBX now changed weekends with BM so he has both girls at the same time. I have called the states attorney and left a message. I am also going to the pro se clinic this afternoon to see what I can do to stop visits. I do not trust STBX with watching both difficult child and daughter together. daughter has already complained to me that STBX doesn't do anything but watch TV. And I know how he is when he's watching TV. He lives with his mother and both of them think difficult child does no wrong.

    I am scared. Very scared. All I want is for both girls to be safe....
  2. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Oh, that's so sad. I vote for the psychiatric hospital. Meanwhile, is she going to a therapist or psychiatrist?
  3. mavh2005

    mavh2005 Member

    She sees both. Sees the psychiatrist once a month, just saw her on the 5th and goes every other week to the therapist. STBX has been to one therapist appointment and that's it.. so he's completley clueless
  4. mavh2005

    mavh2005 Member

    Talked to both the states attorney and the lawyer at the pro se clinic... Both suggested I keep easy child away from difficult child. So I called STBX and told him that if he has difficult child, easy child will not be allowed to visit. He claims BM didn't tell him everything that happened. He still swears difficult child doesn't have a problem.... He says he'll see me in court over me stopping the visitations. I told him he was more then welcome to have easy child, but not if he had difficult child at the same time.

    We shall see what happens. I talked to BM about this and she agrees with me. Says she doesn't blame me for doing what I am, she knows that there is no supervision at STBX's house. I had STBX served with divorce papers on Sunday. It will be interesting to see how he responds. He thinks the court will make the girls be together no matter what. I told him safety overrules that...
  5. Liahona

    Liahona Guest

    One thing I wish I had done during my divorce was get psychiatric evaluations done on all involved with my kid. Getting a court ordered evaluation of difficult child and having it put in the divorce orders that difficult child and easy child won't have visitation on the same weekends is do-able. BM might need to do an affidavit. You'll need a good lawyer, and it might be expensive. But the emotional cost to easy child will be to great if you don't and her sister threatens to kill her or does hurt her. Now is the time to do all this though. And STBX can't get you for contempt of court for with holding visitation because there are no court orders yet.
  6. lovelyboy

    lovelyboy Member

    Hugs.....coming your way!
    Sounds as if you are doing the best in this situation to protect both your kids!
  7. mavh2005

    mavh2005 Member

    Thanks for that suggestion! I don't have a lawyer now, but that is something I will find out about!!