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General Parenting
Update of difficult child and his PO- the short version
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<blockquote data-quote="klmno" data-source="post: 455128" data-attributes="member: 3699"><p>At least in this state, when a juvenile is on probation or parole, they are still under the authority of "lthe courts" in the way of that PO so that PO determines everything, unless over-ruled by a judge. Just like an adult PO can tell a parolee where they can or cannot live, but being a juvenile, this gives them the "right" to tell a parent where they can or cannot send the child, what treatment they can or cannot give them etc. Yes, I've fought some of those battles in the past, and I know some people find it difficult to believe it's really this way because it seems so absurd, but it really is this way.</p><p></p><p>If a parent moves but keeps the kid in theirr custody, they have to go thru certain processes to get the "parolee" accepted and transferred in the new jurisdiction, wheich includes them doing a home visit to see that it's adequate and the kid has a bedroom. (You'd think this was cps.) But with BT, difficult child would not be living in my custody, although I would still have parental rights. Therefore, the courts would have to approve it.</p><p></p><p>difficult child and PO both have had months to prepare a proper, more likely "plan" but apparently they both thought I was bluffing all those times when I told them both that I was not comfortable with difficult child coming straight home and they needed to form a plan based on that. I told PO straight out that due to the failure of "their plan" last year, I will NOT try it again until difficult child and I have had the sort of intensive family therapy recommended by a psychiatrist and a PhD psychiatric, and that it will have to be completed prior to difficult child living with me again- and that doesn't mean a behavior contracted that was really outlined by a PO or behavior counselor. If they couldn't wouldn't do that, then plan for difficult child to age out of their system. They DO have funding to do more to help these kids- my son just never seems to qualify. Why? They determined a long time ago that I could provide it, under court order if need be. There are a lot of complexities though- for instance, they legally can keep difficult child (and therefore, me,) in the juvie system until he's 21. They will most likely do that if difficult child is living with me because I'm there sponge for whatever they want to require for difficult child. If I'm no longer writing the checks, providing the transportation, etc, they'll get difficult child out of their system asap. Mind you, before someone comments on that statement- I don't mind providing for my kid- it's just that the things POs require and their approach in general has proven to be toxic to difficult child and I both. It would be different if this actually helped rehabilitate my son. Instead it costs me my job in the past along with everything else. </p><p></p><p>Step, it's not the ins that I was questioning- it's the playing both sides of something that this state does so much, the ins was just an example.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="klmno, post: 455128, member: 3699"] At least in this state, when a juvenile is on probation or parole, they are still under the authority of "lthe courts" in the way of that PO so that PO determines everything, unless over-ruled by a judge. Just like an adult PO can tell a parolee where they can or cannot live, but being a juvenile, this gives them the "right" to tell a parent where they can or cannot send the child, what treatment they can or cannot give them etc. Yes, I've fought some of those battles in the past, and I know some people find it difficult to believe it's really this way because it seems so absurd, but it really is this way. If a parent moves but keeps the kid in theirr custody, they have to go thru certain processes to get the "parolee" accepted and transferred in the new jurisdiction, wheich includes them doing a home visit to see that it's adequate and the kid has a bedroom. (You'd think this was cps.) But with BT, difficult child would not be living in my custody, although I would still have parental rights. Therefore, the courts would have to approve it. difficult child and PO both have had months to prepare a proper, more likely "plan" but apparently they both thought I was bluffing all those times when I told them both that I was not comfortable with difficult child coming straight home and they needed to form a plan based on that. I told PO straight out that due to the failure of "their plan" last year, I will NOT try it again until difficult child and I have had the sort of intensive family therapy recommended by a psychiatrist and a PhD psychiatric, and that it will have to be completed prior to difficult child living with me again- and that doesn't mean a behavior contracted that was really outlined by a PO or behavior counselor. If they couldn't wouldn't do that, then plan for difficult child to age out of their system. They DO have funding to do more to help these kids- my son just never seems to qualify. Why? They determined a long time ago that I could provide it, under court order if need be. There are a lot of complexities though- for instance, they legally can keep difficult child (and therefore, me,) in the juvie system until he's 21. They will most likely do that if difficult child is living with me because I'm there sponge for whatever they want to require for difficult child. If I'm no longer writing the checks, providing the transportation, etc, they'll get difficult child out of their system asap. Mind you, before someone comments on that statement- I don't mind providing for my kid- it's just that the things POs require and their approach in general has proven to be toxic to difficult child and I both. It would be different if this actually helped rehabilitate my son. Instead it costs me my job in the past along with everything else. Step, it's not the ins that I was questioning- it's the playing both sides of something that this state does so much, the ins was just an example. [/QUOTE]
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