I had to meet with PO a couple of weeks ago due to the 90 day face-to-face requirement for parents of kids in Department of Juvenile Justice. PO gave me a spill about the importance of a unified front first. (by the way- this guy is as green as they get and has to "check with his super" over almost everything.) Then, PO proceeds to tell me he had gone to see and meet difficult child for the first time a couple of days earlier. He said while he was there, he "discussed my concerns about difficult child returning home" with difficult child and told him this was why he was going to recommend this transitional placement, then difficult child could get home with me ASAP. My jaw nearly dropped and I asked him if that was his idea of a unified front. He tried to backstep, over and over, telling me he just hadn't said it right, it wasn't in context, etc. I went off on him and told him if this was his idea of helping difficult child and I build on our relationship he needed to be getting some input from someone. Again, he tried to backstep it all and I said "you don't get this domestic violence thing, do you? Don't you get how much resentment that causes in a kid who's in Department of Juvenile Justice for committing an offense against a parent? Don't you get how much resentment that causes in me toward you (meaning PO)?" He said "well, now, I know you just have trust issues toward POs..." I interrupted and said this was WHY- they continuously betray my trust - if I am forthcoming with them, they immediately go to my son and repeat everything I say and all they care about is being the good guy to my son and making me out to be the bad guy". And that's when it all fell into place- the pattern from one PO to another was suddenly so obvious to me. They have all tried to be the good guy to my son, even when they order something the order is put to me to make me keep difficult child on house arrest or supervised or wwhatever. They all have had private conversations with difficult child as mine and his relationshp deteriorates. When their "plan" doesn't work, it's always been my ffault. Do I think this is against me personally? Oh, no. I think this is why we parents are catching the brunt of it all. It's the "method". And they ALL have lied at one time or another about one thing or another. So, the day after that, I got a letter from difficult child saying his PO had been there to see him and had told him that he (PO) would have let difficult child come home except for my concerns but if I changed my mind, it would be fine with PO if difficult child came straight home. I believe difficult child on this because, ironically enough, in the same letter difficult child tells me about how he's found religion now and has asked for a MH evaluation so he can get help. And today I went to visit difficult child. I didn't bring PO up at all. difficult child did though and said that PO told him that they normally don't like to send kids anywhere except home and that group homes were only for kids who had no place else to go and they were usually full but that they couoldn't make me take difficult child home against my will so PO had no choice but to recommend something else. difficult child can't go to a group home until he's 17 and he doesn't turn 17 until Jan. And then, Department of Juvenile Justice let difficult child out of lock even though he committed another major infraction while in lock, then put difficult child into his treatment program, which they aren't supposed to do until after the kid has behaved at least a few weeks. And what does this mean? It means that difficult child will probably have completed his treatment around Christmas, just shy of his 17th birthday, and be released then. Isn't it coincidental that all of aa sudden they have a plan to get this kid released just short of being 17? difficult child kept saying things like "when he comes home", so there I am yet again, saying "difficult child, I am not comfortable with you coming straight home" and him looking heartbroken. I'm going to write a lot out just to vent, then turn that into a real list of grievances, then go to an attny.