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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 261408" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>i am glad kt realizes she needs help ANd is willing to accept it!! That is half the battle right there.</p><p></p><p>In time kt will believe that you are not trying to replace her. A lot of this stems from her earliest years. It is not going to go away just because you say something. It will take time and a lot of therapy for her to see you miss husband just as much as she does. he was a big part of her stability. The last year or so he was not so stable and that had to be somewhat threatening to her. Then, before things could work out he died, removing half of hte equation that meant home, safety, security and happiness. You are still there, but now you are the entire equation for her. So it is a terribly tough thing for her to work through. And for you to work through.</p><p></p><p>I doubt she has the maturity to see that you are hurting as bad as she is, and are NOT looking to replace the man you loved anytime.</p><p></p><p>It is very sweet of her to want to do something for wm for Easter. I hope the visit can be arranged and executed safely and happily. I also hope it does not trigger unstable behaviors just before your trip. Having that other adult for the entire trip might be a good thing, esp if kt is close to the edge after visiting wm.</p><p></p><p>If we don't hear from you again this week I hope you ahve a good trip and a Happy Easter!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 261408, member: 1233"] i am glad kt realizes she needs help ANd is willing to accept it!! That is half the battle right there. In time kt will believe that you are not trying to replace her. A lot of this stems from her earliest years. It is not going to go away just because you say something. It will take time and a lot of therapy for her to see you miss husband just as much as she does. he was a big part of her stability. The last year or so he was not so stable and that had to be somewhat threatening to her. Then, before things could work out he died, removing half of hte equation that meant home, safety, security and happiness. You are still there, but now you are the entire equation for her. So it is a terribly tough thing for her to work through. And for you to work through. I doubt she has the maturity to see that you are hurting as bad as she is, and are NOT looking to replace the man you loved anytime. It is very sweet of her to want to do something for wm for Easter. I hope the visit can be arranged and executed safely and happily. I also hope it does not trigger unstable behaviors just before your trip. Having that other adult for the entire trip might be a good thing, esp if kt is close to the edge after visiting wm. If we don't hear from you again this week I hope you ahve a good trip and a Happy Easter! [/QUOTE]
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