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General Parenting
update on difficult child situation
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<blockquote data-quote="buddy" data-source="post: 571771" data-attributes="member: 12886"><p>I understand why they are doing it financially but if he has no true attachment to her, and she has no training in this level of therapeutic parenting, I'd be ready to have him placed back with you with little warning (at best). There are so many layers to their relationship and after the honeymoon, he could deal with anger, she will react from guilt, and if he doesn't really bond anyway I worry she is at risk of injury. </p><p>Does she have pets? Do the neighbors? Will she keep him from other kids?</p><p></p><p>These are not your responsibilities to worry about, but it could affect you if they pull him out and ask you to take him back. </p><p>I guess I am saying, plan ahead for your response to this just in case. Hopefully this will be a great solution. But, if from your perspective, he can't ever come back, maybe you could plan for what you will say to cas. They may blame the mom and flatter you.....you know better. He likely needs a higher level of care.</p><p></p><p>I pray they really do provide services beyond a call to see if mom's sober. They may not yet realize how dangerous this boy might be. I worry they're setting him up for something sad. And I'd hold them responsible more than him if something happens. They should be protecting others and him. But social services often dont seem to think proactively. They often wait till something awful happens. They know his behaviors, yet put him with a totally inexperienced mom who is fragile in her sobriety.</p><p></p><p>But for you, and your other kids, it is not your job to worry about beyond what to say if the placement doesn't work.......What to say to husband and what to say to CAS . Bio mom and husband and CAS are the ones who need to sort it out beyond that. You are doing what must be done for your babies and I commend you for staying strong.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="buddy, post: 571771, member: 12886"] I understand why they are doing it financially but if he has no true attachment to her, and she has no training in this level of therapeutic parenting, I'd be ready to have him placed back with you with little warning (at best). There are so many layers to their relationship and after the honeymoon, he could deal with anger, she will react from guilt, and if he doesn't really bond anyway I worry she is at risk of injury. Does she have pets? Do the neighbors? Will she keep him from other kids? These are not your responsibilities to worry about, but it could affect you if they pull him out and ask you to take him back. I guess I am saying, plan ahead for your response to this just in case. Hopefully this will be a great solution. But, if from your perspective, he can't ever come back, maybe you could plan for what you will say to cas. They may blame the mom and flatter you.....you know better. He likely needs a higher level of care. I pray they really do provide services beyond a call to see if mom's sober. They may not yet realize how dangerous this boy might be. I worry they're setting him up for something sad. And I'd hold them responsible more than him if something happens. They should be protecting others and him. But social services often dont seem to think proactively. They often wait till something awful happens. They know his behaviors, yet put him with a totally inexperienced mom who is fragile in her sobriety. But for you, and your other kids, it is not your job to worry about beyond what to say if the placement doesn't work.......What to say to husband and what to say to CAS . Bio mom and husband and CAS are the ones who need to sort it out beyond that. You are doing what must be done for your babies and I commend you for staying strong. [/QUOTE]
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