Update on Good Thoughts

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by janebrain, Nov 16, 2010.

  1. janebrain

    janebrain New Member

    Thank you!!!!! There was a major change in plans now that my husband and I were no longer an option for Liam. He is going to be sent to E after she has shown compliance with their requirements. They are not difficult--drug assessment, mental health assessment, domestic violence counseling and parenting classes. It will still be some time before Liam will be reunited with her, as she has to do those things first, but I am confident they will be reunited.

    She has changed so much--I know I have not updated on her since she was going to join the Navy but the boyfriend is out of the picture and she is living in a stable home with supportive people around her. She is pregnant with a baby girl who is due in January and she is not putting boyfriend on the birth certificate.

    She is taking responsibility for herself and has matured so much. I am glad she gets a second chance with Liam--she had given him up to a friend over a year ago but they didn't do it legally. There is reason to think the friend or her husband were abusing him, that is why he was removed from their home and put in foster care. E had not tried to take him back once she was getting her life together because she didn't want to disrupt their bond--it had been nearly a year. She had come to terms with the idea that she couldn't really take him from the people he considered his parents and then the abuse was discovered.

    Well, that is the short version. Thanks for the Board Magic at work again! I was so depressed and despairing this morning and now I am so happy!

  2. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Jane I'm wiping tears away, tears of joy for you and for difficult child who has finally put her feet upon the right path. It's not going to be easy, but the best things if life never are.

    I know it had to be hard to make the decision not to take little Liam. Been struggling with the same decision with the grands......(want to be prepared) and if it weren't that I would have endless support from both Nichole and easy child I don't know that I'd be able to do it. And I know that if anything happened to me easy child would step in and take over.

    I will keep you, difficult child, and little Liam in my prayers. Such a happy update! Keep us informed.

  3. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Oh I am so happy to hear this. My heart just lurched reading the other thread. I just dont know if I could be strong enough to say no. Oh heck, I know i wouldnt be, not even for the ones who drive me batty. You are stronger than me. I am just so glad they are giving E the chance to step up and get Liam back. So nice she is having a baby girl too. Jan 17th is a good birthday!
  4. Mattsmom277

    Mattsmom277 Active Member

    I'm very glad to read your positive outcome post. That is wonderful. Those terms seem quite doable and the counseling can only be a positive thing. I hope that she fully takes advantage of such a healthy support.

    Proud of you for standing firm on your inability to take on the full time care of Liam. That he can be returned to his mom is the best possible avenue for him, and you seem confident that she'll comply with the conditions so that is a good thing too. I hope her pregnancy is a healthy one and January is not too far off for a new baby. Glad to hear the guy is out of the picture too. Her and your grandbabies deserve a life free of abuse. Sounds like she's being given a chance to start fresh. Very happy to hear it! Smiling along with you here.
  5. mom_to_3

    mom_to_3 Active Member

    I just wanted to let you know that you are not the only grandparent that chose not to raise their grandchild. Our difficult child's son was in foster care and we did care for him for 1 year. During that time, we were asked if we were willing to adopt him. My husband and I thought long and hard about that decision. Our hearts said yes!, but our common sense won out. Most people would automatically say and suggest that you should raise your grandchild. We opted not to take on that responsibility. We love our (difficult child) grandson to pieces, but just could not see ourselves doing that again. In the end, he was placed back with our difficult child. We are involved in his life and will always "keep an eye out" for his safety and wellbeing. Every child deserves that in life. I have learned that there are many ways to raise a child and they don't necessarily have to be "my" way.

    As an added comment, I think putting the responsibility on your daughter to accomplish productive goals, squarely on her shoulders, in order to regain custody is the most powerful parenting tool you can use! Yea you! I hope you are at peace with your decision and that you will be able to see the positive outcome this should bring! You go girl! :)
  6. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    Big hugs, Jane.
  7. janebrain

    janebrain New Member

    Aw, thanks for the support and encouragement! And Mom to 3, thanks for sharing your story too. It must have been very hard to say no to adopting your grandchild, especially since you already had been caring for him. I have never seen Liam in person. When E had him my instincts told me not to go see him because I was afraid I would get too attached and I would not like what I was seeing. I am looking forward to meeting him and the new baby after she's born.