Update on how we are doing...

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by BusynMember, May 9, 2020.

  1. BusynMember

    BusynMember Well-Known Member


    My life has changed so much.

    My husband and I are in our 60s and my husband has diabetes so we are staying at home even when our state is open. I believe Dr. Fauci that we will have another bad wave and my husband and I have a strong desire to stay alive and well.

    Rick is running our business, although business and money are way down. Husband and I are going to retire and move to our lake home for most of the time. Rick lives in our house now

    We now realize that there are more important things in life than work and we have plans that are more relaxing. We are excited that the weather is nice and take walks by the water, holding hands. We are renewing our relationship.

    As many people as we were in contact with from work, we know we are lucky to have not gotten sick. We know several who did, a few who sadly died.

    Amy is now in court to get custody of Jaden. I can't say more. Kay is traveling on the west coast as told to us by one of her few FB relatives. We plan to visit the grands once a month. We are feeling happy and peaceful and very grateful.

    I hope everyone is good. Prayers and love to all.
  2. Nandina

    Nandina Member

    Busy, the very best to you in this new chapter in your life! And prayers for Amy to get custody of Jaden. I have been there too. I hope you’ll still check in here—I don’t comment a lot but I read everything and I always appreciate your honest perspective.
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  3. Copabanana

    Copabanana Well-Known Member

    Who could have imagined, Busy, that these profoundly wonderful changes would have come to your life so soon, following such heartache and loss with Kay, and worry for Jaden. How you and your husband have transformed your lives, for the best, defining yourselves by peace, acceptance, security, health and love, in this time of chaos, fear and confusion.

    Even though so much has been resolved in your life, if it still works for you, I hope you stay here and post.
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  4. newstart

    newstart Active Member

    This quiet time has been a blessing. My husband is a wonderful cook so we have been eating good and healthy foods. Since the gyms are all closed we take long walks and yard work. We have fruit and vegetables growing in our back yard.
    We have together prayer time which I love, we walk and pray.
    I am very grateful for this renewing time. We have most all the home projects done and have started to redecorate our home. I am changing some room colors and it has been fun. We have been looking around for a deserted cabin in the deep woods. I want to hear the wind in the pine trees, listen to wild animals and listen to the fresh water creeks running. My dad had a place in the woods just like what I described, I loved staying with him. Hope to hear what you have been up to.
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  5. BusynMember

    BusynMember Well-Known Member

    I have not resolved my issues with Kay. It is kind of you to ask me to stay. Thank you!!

    I still need to come here for times when I need to accept the loss of my daughter. I probably sound better than I am.bi tend to always feel I have to present a strong persona. It's just habit. I miss working too sometimes. But I am afraid for my husband and feel we must not work now.

    Prayers and best wishes to you. How are you doing?
  6. Copabanana

    Copabanana Well-Known Member

    In my own experience there is always a pocket of insecurity, self-doubt, and fear and loss, associated with my son, and feelings that pre-date him, that are deeper and older.

    There is a Leonard Cohen song with the line, the cracks are where the light gets in. He was a deeply spiritual man and I believe that to which he referred was G-d.

    I am trying to live this way. To see my pain as the soft place where I find G-d. Busy, to me it sounds like you are doing the same.
  7. BusynMember

    BusynMember Well-Known Member

    Yes, Copa, I am. Thank you again. I walk with God every day too. Not going to church is hard for me but again...churches are not safe anymore.

    Although I have lost a lot and life has changed and Kay is in back of my mind, I try very hard to look at the bright side of things. And there are bright things.

    You still have not said how you are. I hope you are good. Love and hugs.
    Last edited: May 9, 2020
  8. Copabanana

    Copabanana Well-Known Member

    Thank you for asking, Busy.

    Generally, I am good. The hard part is I broke my right shoulder about 10 weeks ago, just before Coronavirus. It has worsened since then. To the extent I could not get through an MRI on Friday, but I will try again Monday. The Radiology tech showed me the shoulder on the scan and it's a mess. The shoulder looks crushed. Two of my cats tripped me. By accident.

    The pain medications are making me ill. So I stopped. And the pain alone is better. But horrible. It's radiating through my whole body. So, that's how I am.

    I'm getting through the isolation pretty well. I'm praying and meditating a lot online on Zoom, and I'm taking a 2D design art class on the internet. I listen to the news all day. (I wish I didn't.) When I felt better I walked in my neighborhood. I try to clean house every day which calms and centers me. I have 4 animals and I feed a stray, so my life is full of beings. M visits most days and I cook for him. If I was all alone, it would be hard for me. I am grateful for M.

    Thank you for asking about me.
  9. BusynMember

    BusynMember Well-Known Member

    I'm so sorry about your shoulder. I hope you feel better soon.

    You are so very kind to all of us. Of course I want to know how you are doing. Be well.
  10. Deni D

    Deni D Active Member

    Oh wow, I'm so sorry to read this. I met a woman this past winter who fell off of a motorcycle, I think 6 months before, who was dealing with the same as you. She had had a couple of surgeries by then and was upbeat and confident that things would be fine in the longterm but was nowhere healed at the time. That was at a time she could get the surgeries and expected to be able to do her physical therapy. I hope you are able to get the care you need right now. Once you get to the point where things look like they are back together well enough there's this ultrasound machine you can use to stimulate bone healing, if it's suggested to you I would go for it, it works. From what you are saying though it seems like you will need surgery before you get any further. I hope you can get the MRI completed soon. Big virtual hug, but only to the one side that's not broken, to you.
  11. Copabanana

    Copabanana Well-Known Member

    Thank you Deni. That hug helped.

    The orthopedic surgeon I saw yesterday says I have frozen shoulder, but I will go to another doctor today because I didn't much like yesterday's.

    I am reading about the use of ultrasound (and also combined with steroids) for pain management. If I get treatment of this sort I will try to go to a University Medical Center as I am not so confident about medical care near me. It's discouraging because the pain is all day and worse at night.

    The physician just gave me hand outs for exercises. I don't know if that means that no physical therapists are seeing live patients. But I have enrolled in an online physical therapy program.

    I am so very grateful to have all of you here with me at a time when I feel isolated and vulnerable.

    Thank you.
  12. RN0441

    RN0441 100% better than I was but not at 100% yet


    I'm so sorry to hear about your shoulder! I am sure that is very painful.

    Our dogs are small and get underfoot often and I worry about tripping over them as well. So far I have not which is a miracle!

    I just got wonderful news that my older son and his wife are driving in tomorrow from Illinois. It's a 13 hour drive but they are driving straight through and will get here around 9pm. Illinois is still completely shut down and he is furloughed so they may as well get away. They will stay for 8 nights. I did see them in March but didn't stay together long which is the most fun, waking up together. I'm busy getting the spare room ready.

    Everything is now open here. Restaurants at 50% and restrictions on everything but open so that is good. The weather is beautiful here every day. It's hard not to feel good and stay positive when the sun is shining every day and the temperatures are warm.

    We will maintain our six foot distance from others and stay safe while they are here.

    Take care all. xoxo
  13. RN0441

    RN0441 100% better than I was but not at 100% yet

    Busy that all sounds great. Good for you that you can have some down time and enjoy it!
  14. Copabanana

    Copabanana Well-Known Member

    How great! Have a wonderful visit.

    There's way more activity here now, but we haven't officially opened. I went to Costco today which was surreal. Will we ever get used to this? Will we always have these plexiglass barriers between us ? Is there no going back?
    Last edited: May 12, 2020
  15. BusynMember

    BusynMember Well-Known Member

    We will go back to normal when there is a vaccine. Until then, people will get sick and die. We who are over 60 will have to be careful. I am cautious and have no desire to mingle in crowded stores or movies or even go to church. It's too risky and we have adapted.

    I often wonder what lesson God wants us to learn from this. Maybe to slow down and appreciate the simple things in life?

    Love and hugs to all.
  16. RN0441

    RN0441 100% better than I was but not at 100% yet


    I think that is the exact lesson. Also to spend more time with family. I think it has forced us all to really do some deep diving into ourselves.
  17. Nandina

    Nandina Member

    I think some of the lessons God wants us to learn from this are to love and care for the weakest among us and to be selfless, since in order for everyone to recover from this and keep it under control, it’s absolutely necessary to put others before ourselves. As I look around town and I see barely anyone wearing a mask, parking lots full of folks shopping like their lives depended on it and the daily rate of infections going up, not down, I wonder if God is pleased.
  18. Overwhelmed1

    Overwhelmed1 Active Member

    I believe God is saying " I am in control, believe". This does not translate to being selfish, not taking care or being concerned for each other or being reckless.
    I'm fortunate that I can go outside in my yard and get my Vitamin D as well as fresh air safely.
    Between Skype, text and phone calls I am not missing much, although hugs are nice and that's not happening now.
    I am saving money by not shopping, going out to eat or entertainment.

    Peace and Love
  19. Nomad

    Nomad Well-Known Member

    Sooo sorry to hear of your shoulder, Copa! I hope you were able to do the mri and are feeling much better.

    busy...loved that last sentence in your original post...about being at peace and grateful. Sending good thoughts.