Update on Jana

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by everywoman, Dec 19, 2008.

  1. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    She is progressing well after surgery. She still has another 3 weeks of non-weight bearing. They will then unlock the brace (hopefully) and she will be able to drive again. She is doing 1 1/2 of pt 3(X) a week. I leave school, pick her up from home, driver her to pt, go back to school, work some more, leave, pick her up, take her home, go back to bb practice---whew---glad this is the last day of school until Jan. 5.

    She has an appointment with the VA on Monday to appeal her EPTS injury discharge. She definitely didn't go into the army with her ACL ripped off the bone and a torn meniscus. Hopefully the appeal will work and she can get her medical treatment covered. Her medical bills right now are close to $60,000. I feel like they should at least cover her until she can get on her feet again. Right now she is destitute and dependent on us for everything. And that makes my little Miss Independent very depressed. She's cried more over her loss of dependence than she has from the pain.

    She has applied for unemployment, but hasn't been approved yet. She has a packet and called in, but there is an issue that no one in the local office knows how to fix.

    She has been seeing some friends and beginning to develop a social life again, but she is still very isolated. Ex is back in town after his accident in Texas. He flew in on Monday. We went to see him today. He sent me several texts while he was in the hospital that he loves her and wants to marry her one day. I know she loves him too, but I also know until he grows up some more that she will not even consider getting back together. Neither can drive, so unless I carry her there or his mom brings him here, they will not see each other much. He has about a year of healing to do before he will be back 100%, as does Jana.

    So, all in all, things are good with her. She is positive and upbeat 80% of the time. I will be glad to have some time to spend with her the next few weeks. I have not had much time since she got home because of work and other obligations.
  2. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    All in all I guess that's pretty good- it could be worse, at least. Sorry you are running yourself ragged though. I hope she gets some relief through unemployment or VA or something. Maybe the X will end up maturing some through his year long healing process- you never know, they are still pretty young and if they really care about each other, it might work out someday.
  3. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    KLMNO---This relationship has been going on for 3 years now. Ex is a few years older (just turned 22) than Jana and waited until she was old enough (16 and out of high school)to date before he pursued her. His sister is Jana's best friend, and we as a family are very close to his family. Both the ex and his sister call me mom, and Jana is honorary member of their family. Her pictures are all over the walls of their home , she has a stocking on the mantle, and is included in every family event. In fact, he and my difficult child both went to rehab together 2 years ago. I don't know if it will ever be anything more than what it is right now. She loves him. He loves her. They lean on each other in hard times. They are each other's support system even when they are not a couple.
  4. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    I'm glad she's progressing. I'm sorry she's got to fight for the $. Sigh.
  5. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I am glad things are progressing and that she is beginning to do some social things. It is such a shame that she has to fight the military to have them cover the bills for damage THEY caused in basic training. Esp when they made her do stuff on her knees AFTER they knew they were going to discharge her for the medical problem. (Personally I think that should be criminal and whoever gave her the orders should be court martialled AND made to pay for her bills!)

    It is neat she and the ex are still able to support each other even when they are not a couple. I know she has had rough times, but Jana is a very special young woman.

    Merry Christmas!
  6. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    Thanks Terry.
    Susie, I'm trying not to hold any anger with the military. I know that they were just "doing" their jobs. But....I also know that as a human being I would never do to anyone what they did to her. She went in there with the best intent. She still says she enjoyed basic and would do it all over again---if the results were different. She did have knee issues going in, but she disclosed those and was cleared by their specialist with no waiver. She's a good girl. She is also a brat. But she was naive, and in pain, and they took advantage of that when they sent her home. She signed the papers because they told her she could get out. She just wanted to get home and see her dr. She wanted the pain to stop. I know a torn ACL can be hard to diagnose. I know that she is as stoic as anyone I've ever met and does not show pain like any other person. She would never let the see her "sweat." But, she saw 3 doctors there and a pt every week and her paperwork and medical records just diagnosis her with knee pain!!! They even did an MRI and didn't see anything???? Okay, gotta stop before the anger and resentment build.

    And ex---hmmm...I knew the minute I met husband that I would marry him. He was a difficult child. I knew the moment that easy child brought daughter in law home that she would be his wife. I have always had that feeling about jana and ex. Not sure I like it, but it will be what it will be.
  7. Fran

    Fran Former desparate mom

    I'm keeping fingers crossed for Jana. She is such a trooper and I know your heart breaks for the obstacle in their life plan. My easy child is suffering also.
    Hopefully, she will regroup. Draw on her inner strength and readjust her direction and move on with her life plan.

    I know they you are accepting that what will be will be for easy child but as a board auntie I hope he is a good enough guy that he helps make her better as she will make him better. If not, then find someone up to her caliber of person.
    : )
  8. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    Fran, I'm sorry your easy child is having a rough time right now too. It is hard to watch them suffer through no fault of their own. It sounds like your son was as naive as Jana is playing in the adult world without the proper guidance and like Jana was taken advantage of by people who should know better.

    Jana is at ex's now watching a move. husband is not happy because I dropped her off, but I told him that if she is going to see him I would rather know about it than have her sneaking around.

    I talked to his mom for a while. She is as leary as I am given their history and his past issues with drug abuse. She does not want to see Jana hurt again. His family loves Jana like a member of the family. When they broke up before, they were completely supportive of Jana's choice to end things.
  9. meowbunny

    meowbunny New Member

    I'm sorry Jana is having to fight so many battles all at once. I hope she wins every last one of them. She's an incredibly brave and strong young woman.
  10. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    I'm so glad Jana is doing well despite the challenges she's had to face. That is one hellova young woman you've got there, Mom. Makes her board Aunties proud as punch! :D

    Hopefully you can get the Army to yield that they messed up. My sister was able to do it. (her knees too athough not as bad as Jana's ) Although I don't know how. And that was more than ten years ago so the whole process could've changed by now.

    I am no fan of military docs, not by a long shot. There are a few good ones, but most.......well, best not go there.

    Give Jana a big hug. Let her know we're in her corner and rooting for her.

  11. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    Thanks Lisa. I'm just hoping to get the medical bills covered and a little income until she is back on her feet (literally and metaphorically). She is trying to be tough, but she is still in many ways naive to the ways of the world. And she is still a little brat at times---you know daddy's little princess syndrome.