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The Watercooler
Update on Jumper and J and the truth about the relationship
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<blockquote data-quote="AnnieO" data-source="post: 548134" data-attributes="member: 6705"><p>MWM... What Star and IC said was right. I can offer my own perspective from when I was about that age.</p><p></p><p>Jumper is beautiful and popular. I wasn't. But something else we DID have in common - brains. From everything I've read, she's pretty darned smart. And guys are both drawn to, and intimidated by, brains. (Thanks to my husband for this observation.) And... It's my personal belief that ALL teens have self esteem issues to some extent.</p><p></p><p>So there's this cute guy, and they talk a bit. Immediately, "he wants her for a possession, like a painting, or an ivory box; something to hold and to display." And she finds out that his home life is, well, rather icky. But hers isn't - she's got awesome parents. Not everything's perfect, of course, but she wants to share that with him, make his life a little brighter.</p><p></p><p>He loves this brightness - moth to a flame - and latches on. HARD. But then... Because of the way he was raised... The latch becomes a viselike clamp. To continue the quote, "he doesn't want her to be real, to think, or to live." Because if she DOES think? She will RUN - because she won't be able to LIVE, in that iron grip.</p><p></p><p>At the same time, this is more attention than a guy has EVER paid to her and it feels good to be the center of someone's universe. Society pretty much tells girls that they MUST be the ONLY thing their man ever thinks about, and vice-versa - she must do everything he says to keep him happy. At the expense of her own self.</p><p></p><p>I had a couple of BFs like that. I had one who pretty much was my "slave" - but still to this day (20+ years later, ugh) he pops up out of nowhere. He would've squashed me like a bug while I thought I was the dominant one. I'm glad I couldn't deal with the sycophantic behavior back then...</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="AnnieO, post: 548134, member: 6705"] MWM... What Star and IC said was right. I can offer my own perspective from when I was about that age. Jumper is beautiful and popular. I wasn't. But something else we DID have in common - brains. From everything I've read, she's pretty darned smart. And guys are both drawn to, and intimidated by, brains. (Thanks to my husband for this observation.) And... It's my personal belief that ALL teens have self esteem issues to some extent. So there's this cute guy, and they talk a bit. Immediately, "he wants her for a possession, like a painting, or an ivory box; something to hold and to display." And she finds out that his home life is, well, rather icky. But hers isn't - she's got awesome parents. Not everything's perfect, of course, but she wants to share that with him, make his life a little brighter. He loves this brightness - moth to a flame - and latches on. HARD. But then... Because of the way he was raised... The latch becomes a viselike clamp. To continue the quote, "he doesn't want her to be real, to think, or to live." Because if she DOES think? She will RUN - because she won't be able to LIVE, in that iron grip. At the same time, this is more attention than a guy has EVER paid to her and it feels good to be the center of someone's universe. Society pretty much tells girls that they MUST be the ONLY thing their man ever thinks about, and vice-versa - she must do everything he says to keep him happy. At the expense of her own self. I had a couple of BFs like that. I had one who pretty much was my "slave" - but still to this day (20+ years later, ugh) he pops up out of nowhere. He would've squashed me like a bug while I thought I was the dominant one. I'm glad I couldn't deal with the sycophantic behavior back then... [/QUOTE]
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Update on Jumper and J and the truth about the relationship
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