Update on my daughter

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by MichelleLynnFl, Jul 28, 2017.

  1. Sorry for not posting, have been depressed. When I get like this nothing matters in the world at all.

    My daughter cannot find a job. Wal-Mart requested additional information about her being in jail, then denied her a job. That cuts out nearly all employer's who do a background check. I spoke with her about how her past is catching up to her and she needs to stop! Her answer? Don't lecture me about it, I know this.

    She refuses to go back on any medication. Mostly she has been tucked away in her bedroom but the few times she comes out the tension is there between us. I am just waiting for the next freak out.

    She saw her counselor 2 days ago who gave her multiple resources for help in getting a job. We went to Career Stop who said they don't do this schooling, earn a certificate at the end of it for employment. These programs to help people in need are non existent anymore! So frustrating.

    I have begun the detachment. Spoke with her about how that night went when she ran out of the house. Told her that's why she was out there all night instead of me begging her to come home. I have simply had enough. My son's girlfriend asked me yesterday....Are you still going to Busch Gardens with us? Worried about what she will do while your gone? My answer was that if she breaks anything in the house, has anyone over, she is out for good. Plain and simple. Not putting my life, having fun, on hold anymore because of her. She had to wait 2 hours at her counselors while my husband and I picked up a couch. I felt guilty at first because it was getting dark but, reminded myself how many times I had to wait for her.
  2. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Michelle...you deserve an awesome life.

    Please be very good to yourself.
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  3. Littleboylost

    Littleboylost On the road unwanted to travel

    We have big hearts and a lot of compassion. It's time for you to put some of that back onto yourself. I am in the same head space.
  4. Teriobe

    Teriobe Active Member

    Temp agencies help people with criminal records. My son got out of prison and had a job in 2wks, with a felony. Then after that job got many more. They are temporary but they pay the bills
  5. Albatross

    Albatross Well-Known Member

    Good for you for setting limits, Michelle. Have an awesome time at Busch Gardens!
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  6. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Restaurants dont care either. We have a couple of employees on parole. The servers work hard, but can make ALOT in tips.
  7. Thank you all so very much. It's hard to distance yourself, and from the messages on this board, we all have big hearts. I am going to seek out a temp agency, even if it's a few hours....need to get her out of my hair, to breathe a bit, to enjoy the new home my husband and I just bought. We live a simple life, our home is only 908 sq ft so the smallness is a constant in your face all the time. Nowhere else to go. lol

    I would love to get a job and get out myself. Used to be a pharmacy technician and am no longer able to work due to health issues. I tried disability with a lawyer but my case was denied as they brought in a job expert who said I was capable of wrapping silverware! Is there even such a job anymore in my small town? What a joke. It's documented in court records that I cannot perform the jobs I used too, mostly retail. To open a new case, as I have new issues, need a whole slew of new evidence, they will not consider the old as it's been judged upon. With no insurance there is no way I can afford all the tests and medications that my doctor would love for me to get. Such is my life but, I push forward anyhow.
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  8. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I am glad you have resolved not to let her stop you living your life. I would make taking her medications a condition for living at home. But that is me and maybe isn't worth the fighting. It is going to be hard for her to get or keep a job if she is not on her medications. Temp work may be the best option. Please don't let her stop you from having fun and a great life.
  9. GoingNorth

    GoingNorth Crazy Cat Lady

    Um...the only temp work I've done has been IT contracting, so I can speak for anything else, but at least for IT temping, employers still required drug testing and background checks, even years ago when I used to temp data entry for extra $$ at tax time, and when something like the furnace broke and I needed the extra $$$ to pay off the bill. I am currently attempting to reenter the job market part time/temp/contracting, as I need x-tra money to pay off some bills/deal with rent increases, an I'm curious as to how the testing is going to work these days as I take controlled substances. Used to be it was no problem because they were prescribed and I had proof of prescriptions. Now? I don't know.
  10. Kat 15

    Kat 15 New Member

    your a very strong lady,, and i wish u all the best with your daughter, i have a similar problem, cannot get a job,, she tried so much and cannot,, i hope everything will work out for you and your family
  11. Lil

    Lil Well-Known Member

    It's good to see you. Sorry you are still having problems with your daughter. For yourself, it sounds to me like you need to see a lawyer that specializes in SS disability cases. Check your state's bar association if you don't have a lawyer already. For your daughter, I find it really hard to believe her stay in jail is stopping her from finding any work. There are lots of companies that hire convicted felons.
    Companies Hire Felons - Get this Updated List for January 2018
  12. Jabberwockey

    Jabberwockey Well-Known Member

    I apologize if what is about to be said comes off as harsh. Not trying to but I tend to get a bit aggravated with this since its kinda personal for me. I've worked in Corrections for over 25 years and have been facilitating the Employability Skills class going on three years and I can tell you with 100% certainty that just because an employer does a background check it doesn't mean that they wont hire felons. Wal Mart has no official policy one way or the other about hiring felons other than leaving it up to the individual store managers. That being said, if its a small store with a sporting goods section that's why she didn't pass the background check. Federal ATF (Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms) laws about felons in possession of or even around weapons prohibit a smaller store where employees could be required to work anywhere in the store from hiring convicted felons.

    Many times I've had inmates tell me that if someone, convicted felon or not, can't find work its because they don't want to work. First off, go to the local...well, they're called Career Centers here. They are Federally funded so all states have them. Get on your states website and look at the jobseekers section and you should find a link on there for it. You will also find out a bunch of other employment information. I maintain a list of "Useful Websites" that I give out to any offender who asks for it and its currently around eight pages long. Pm me if you'd like a copy. Some are focused on our state and some are not.

    If she isn't finding work, she doesn't want to work. Then again, as someone else mentioned, until she is stable on medications she probably wont be able to keep a job anyway. @Lil and I used to have a friend who was bi-polar and she ended up on disability because of it. Long story short, she got a credit card in my wife's name, quit paying on the car loan my wife co-signed for and took the car and her gangster boyfriend to Florida. We haven't heard from her in years. We had to eat the car loan and swear out a warrant for her arrest to get out of paying for the credit card (easier than a lengthy court case) all because she went off her medications.
  13. AppleCori

    AppleCori Well-Known Member

    One of my step-brothers just had a job at Walmart, assembling bikes and stuff in November/December.

    He had, quite literally, just gotten out of jail.

    He has been to jail numerous times for everything from theft, DUI, drugs, drunk in public, assault, skipping bail, driving without a licence, tags, insurance, etc. He has always led a nomadic lifestyle, homeless most of the time, living in his car traveling around the country, living with various people until they kick him out or he takes their stuff and leaves.

    No real work history to speak of, just works for a while and then leaves.

    He is in his mid-fifties.

    He manages to find work when he needs it, as a last resort, when he can’t find anyone to live off of.

    It can be done when the person really wants it.

  14. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Restaurants are often very lax about jail and drugs. I work at one and one of our servers wears ankle bracelet at work. We employ many parolees. They don't drug test there. If you are a server or a cook you can make a decent buck. Many young people who I work with are supporting babies and do not live with Mom. Quite a few work two server jobs. Some have boyfriend's they live with. Not all.

    Fast food may be the same, at least some of them.

    You don't get rich at these jobs but you can learn skills acceptance, a good work ethic and independence. Honestly, I love working with this group of young people almost more than any other Co workers I have had. They get along great and it is like a family. The young ones go to kareoke every Thursday. They even invited me....lol.

    Good luck!
  15. AppleCori

    AppleCori Well-Known Member

    My daughter takes prescription medications for bipolar, and she has never had a problem getting a job, or completing a random drug test at work.

    Good luck on your job search!