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update on my girls
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<blockquote data-quote="janebrain" data-source="post: 222112" data-attributes="member: 3208"><p>Oh, thanks Suz! No, I don't mind sharing. She seemed "normal" up until the time her sister went to an Residential Treatment Center (RTC) in Utah back in 2004. She (I will call her M) was a sensitive child, but very good student, never any trouble, all that kind of thing. Then we sent E (difficult child 1) off to her Residential Treatment Center (RTC) and I thought I could now concentrate on M and we could all just have a normal, peaceful life for awhile. Well, after E was away for about 3 months, M went to visit her best friend who lives in Maine and when she returned she said she needed to talk to me. Her best friend convinced her she should tell me that she was having hallucinations.</p><p></p><p>Apparently she was often seeing someone she called "the man in dark" and he was scary. He'd be in her room or in the hall and he would tell her to do bad things. She said she once found herself in the kitchen with a butcher knife in her hand and didn't remember how she ended up like that. </p><p></p><p>Well, this was a complete shock to me and also so discouraging--I felt like, "oh no, I've got another kid with a zillion problems." So, we got her into therapy and it took quite some time before she and the therapist figured out what was wrong. She had tentative diagnoses of adhd and bipolar and depression and she tried a couple of antidepressants and was on concerta for awhile. Nothing really helped and she didn't like taking medications so we agreed she could stop. She and her therapist came to a diagnosis of dissociative disorder together and it does seem to make sense.</p><p></p><p>We found out that E had been emotionally and even physically abusive to M and M was afraid to tell us what was going on. I really had no idea. I knew E was mean to M sometimes and I knew she was very jealous of her but they also seemed very close. I knew E's rages scared M and that M was very worried about E when she was drinking and doing drugs, etc.</p><p></p><p>Anyway, M had learned to "space out" in order to cope with her sister. She has improved a lot over these past 4 years and she now knows when she is dissociating and she is understanding what triggers her and she is getting to know her different parts of self and is trying to accept them. She used to cut and she told me today she really wants to cut again but I don't think she has. I think one of the harder things for her is she feels no one really understands her except her therapist and she is probably right. Her friends don't really get it, teachers don't get it, I try to understand but I know I don't totally get it either. I do understand her frustration because she is "different"--when I talk to other moms they want to attribute her problems to hormones or her age or stuff like that. </p><p></p><p>Well, I have to go--am at work and have to do some actual work! Please feel free to ask me questions if I haven't answered them! Thanks for your interest and for caring!</p><p></p><p>Jane</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="janebrain, post: 222112, member: 3208"] Oh, thanks Suz! No, I don't mind sharing. She seemed "normal" up until the time her sister went to an Residential Treatment Center (RTC) in Utah back in 2004. She (I will call her M) was a sensitive child, but very good student, never any trouble, all that kind of thing. Then we sent E (difficult child 1) off to her Residential Treatment Center (RTC) and I thought I could now concentrate on M and we could all just have a normal, peaceful life for awhile. Well, after E was away for about 3 months, M went to visit her best friend who lives in Maine and when she returned she said she needed to talk to me. Her best friend convinced her she should tell me that she was having hallucinations. Apparently she was often seeing someone she called "the man in dark" and he was scary. He'd be in her room or in the hall and he would tell her to do bad things. She said she once found herself in the kitchen with a butcher knife in her hand and didn't remember how she ended up like that. Well, this was a complete shock to me and also so discouraging--I felt like, "oh no, I've got another kid with a zillion problems." So, we got her into therapy and it took quite some time before she and the therapist figured out what was wrong. She had tentative diagnoses of adhd and bipolar and depression and she tried a couple of antidepressants and was on concerta for awhile. Nothing really helped and she didn't like taking medications so we agreed she could stop. She and her therapist came to a diagnosis of dissociative disorder together and it does seem to make sense. We found out that E had been emotionally and even physically abusive to M and M was afraid to tell us what was going on. I really had no idea. I knew E was mean to M sometimes and I knew she was very jealous of her but they also seemed very close. I knew E's rages scared M and that M was very worried about E when she was drinking and doing drugs, etc. Anyway, M had learned to "space out" in order to cope with her sister. She has improved a lot over these past 4 years and she now knows when she is dissociating and she is understanding what triggers her and she is getting to know her different parts of self and is trying to accept them. She used to cut and she told me today she really wants to cut again but I don't think she has. I think one of the harder things for her is she feels no one really understands her except her therapist and she is probably right. Her friends don't really get it, teachers don't get it, I try to understand but I know I don't totally get it either. I do understand her frustration because she is "different"--when I talk to other moms they want to attribute her problems to hormones or her age or stuff like that. Well, I have to go--am at work and have to do some actual work! Please feel free to ask me questions if I haven't answered them! Thanks for your interest and for caring! Jane [/QUOTE]
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