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Update on SS
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 612994" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Hon, I never saw our adopted son who turned out to be a sexual predator/attachment disorder-no-conscience kid ever being mean to our dogs. He always acted really nice to them in front of us. Apparently he wasn't so nice in front of my younger kids. He killed two of them. The first one we honestly never suspected him of. The second one was the thing that got us thinking "What do we REALLY have here?" And the only reason he got the blame for that puppy (yes, it was a tiny puppy...so sad) was because the puppy was inside and he and I were the only ones home. When the cops came I was bawling and the cop said it had to be the child. I couldn't believe it because, as I said, that child acted like an angel in front of all adults. Adults loved him. Even after husband and I knew for sure and the rest of his misdeeds came out, it never feels good to have to say goodbye to a child. You always wish there was hope. Sometimes there really isn't hope though. The only way to find out is if he gets intensive 24/7 care. Some people, children AND adults, live best when they are being watched. Heck, some prisoners like prison better than the outside world because they feel safe there. Many can only behave when there is that degree of structure.</p><p></p><p> in my opinion, he may have bipolar, but in my layman moms opinion from the School of Hard Knocks, there is more going on too. You in my opinion are too old to have to be going through raising this child. You deserve to relax and enjoy life now! SS is very damaged and if he does have attachment problems (and he may and his do sound severe) medications don't help. It is more like a personality disorder than a mental illness that can be fixed by correcting the body and brain chemistry with medication. Therapy doesn't work with the kids either because they don't attach or trust anyone, including therapists, and you came into this game pretty late. It is not up to you to change it. You can't. Your husband may feel guilty, and maybe he should, but it is what it is. At the time, he did not know what would happen to his son. He didn't harm him on purpose. He needs to step up to the plate and protect you and find a save, caring place for his son...but a place that can have eyes on him 24/7. </p><p></p><p>You most definitely have my prayers...all of you do. I would not wish this on my worst enemy. It is a very perplexing and frightening problem and it is so hard for many who haven't lived with it to believe that children can be this dangerous. I have often heard comments about really destructive kids and how it has to be because their parents are abusing the child or letting the child do anything he wants or he wasn't spanked enough...blah, blah, blah. None of that is true. This child probably had a vulnerable biology to begin with and then had a rough start and nobody knew or planned it and at this point nobody is to blame. He needs to be off the streets so he can't hurt anyone or himself and both bio. mom and your hubby need to have the strength to place him in a safe environment. </p><p></p><p>Maybe you have somewhere to stay on the weekends SS is there? I think you are a kind, caring person. I would hate for anything to happen to you. I know I speak for everybody here.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 612994, member: 1550"] Hon, I never saw our adopted son who turned out to be a sexual predator/attachment disorder-no-conscience kid ever being mean to our dogs. He always acted really nice to them in front of us. Apparently he wasn't so nice in front of my younger kids. He killed two of them. The first one we honestly never suspected him of. The second one was the thing that got us thinking "What do we REALLY have here?" And the only reason he got the blame for that puppy (yes, it was a tiny puppy...so sad) was because the puppy was inside and he and I were the only ones home. When the cops came I was bawling and the cop said it had to be the child. I couldn't believe it because, as I said, that child acted like an angel in front of all adults. Adults loved him. Even after husband and I knew for sure and the rest of his misdeeds came out, it never feels good to have to say goodbye to a child. You always wish there was hope. Sometimes there really isn't hope though. The only way to find out is if he gets intensive 24/7 care. Some people, children AND adults, live best when they are being watched. Heck, some prisoners like prison better than the outside world because they feel safe there. Many can only behave when there is that degree of structure. in my opinion, he may have bipolar, but in my layman moms opinion from the School of Hard Knocks, there is more going on too. You in my opinion are too old to have to be going through raising this child. You deserve to relax and enjoy life now! SS is very damaged and if he does have attachment problems (and he may and his do sound severe) medications don't help. It is more like a personality disorder than a mental illness that can be fixed by correcting the body and brain chemistry with medication. Therapy doesn't work with the kids either because they don't attach or trust anyone, including therapists, and you came into this game pretty late. It is not up to you to change it. You can't. Your husband may feel guilty, and maybe he should, but it is what it is. At the time, he did not know what would happen to his son. He didn't harm him on purpose. He needs to step up to the plate and protect you and find a save, caring place for his son...but a place that can have eyes on him 24/7. You most definitely have my prayers...all of you do. I would not wish this on my worst enemy. It is a very perplexing and frightening problem and it is so hard for many who haven't lived with it to believe that children can be this dangerous. I have often heard comments about really destructive kids and how it has to be because their parents are abusing the child or letting the child do anything he wants or he wasn't spanked enough...blah, blah, blah. None of that is true. This child probably had a vulnerable biology to begin with and then had a rough start and nobody knew or planned it and at this point nobody is to blame. He needs to be off the streets so he can't hurt anyone or himself and both bio. mom and your hubby need to have the strength to place him in a safe environment. Maybe you have somewhere to stay on the weekends SS is there? I think you are a kind, caring person. I would hate for anything to happen to you. I know I speak for everybody here. [/QUOTE]
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