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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 615070" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Hon, you are a good person, strong with a great heart. I say this very gently. When people adopt those with kids, even problem kids, the parent usually puts the child first. Your husband is still under the illusion that he can change his son. Although he is still young, his son is really damaged. In my opinion in seeing kids like this, his son has already gone too long without help or real consequences for crimes. He is likely going to end up dangerous and in jail. But your husband wants to believe he won't. That is nothing against you; it is a problem he will have to face probably forever, and learn to deal with it. So will you if you and your husband stay together. </p><p></p><p>I think your husband's idea is a safe one. I don't think it would last too long though. The child you describe is so out of control that normal parenting consequences, such as removing the laptop, will not only not help him but will make him worse and more of a danger. He has already stolen many times. He does not learn from his mistakes because he doesn't care about them. He just wants what he wants and will get what he wants no matter how wrong it is. He knows it's wrong but has no respect for the rights of others. In an adult, these traits are seen as antisocial personality disorder. He is in a very bad place and since he isn't interested in pleasing his parents, how can anyone control what he does? He will likely end up in juvie hall anyways. Soon he will do something to somebody and it will be out of his parent's hands.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 615070, member: 1550"] Hon, you are a good person, strong with a great heart. I say this very gently. When people adopt those with kids, even problem kids, the parent usually puts the child first. Your husband is still under the illusion that he can change his son. Although he is still young, his son is really damaged. In my opinion in seeing kids like this, his son has already gone too long without help or real consequences for crimes. He is likely going to end up dangerous and in jail. But your husband wants to believe he won't. That is nothing against you; it is a problem he will have to face probably forever, and learn to deal with it. So will you if you and your husband stay together. I think your husband's idea is a safe one. I don't think it would last too long though. The child you describe is so out of control that normal parenting consequences, such as removing the laptop, will not only not help him but will make him worse and more of a danger. He has already stolen many times. He does not learn from his mistakes because he doesn't care about them. He just wants what he wants and will get what he wants no matter how wrong it is. He knows it's wrong but has no respect for the rights of others. In an adult, these traits are seen as antisocial personality disorder. He is in a very bad place and since he isn't interested in pleasing his parents, how can anyone control what he does? He will likely end up in juvie hall anyways. Soon he will do something to somebody and it will be out of his parent's hands. [/QUOTE]
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