Hi. I am so sorrybyou are suffering. Been there.
I know there is always the unusual person , but honestly normally a person who has the illness of addiction will agree to all you say, then take the help/money and blow it on purpose. Remember, addicts lie. That is a big symptom of the disease. Your son is not telling you anything true...or he twists the truth. You have no real idea why your son is doing what he does other than Addiction is a serious illness and the addiction overrides love, honesty, decency and comfort in even good hearted addicts.
Sitting him down will not work. Even more alarming in my humble opinion is sitting down with a person you don't know, his "friend of the week." That's even more dangerous. You don't know what this stranger is capable of.
Addicts usually start out with loving helpful families. I worked at a homeless shelter and most who came in were addicts. Although they did not tell us full stories about their lives, not one said they had no family. Most alluded to their families kicking them out after "things didn't work out." We used to try to get services and jobs for the clients. 99 percent of the time they did not show up for useful appointments. You can not help a drug addict have a stable life. They choose drugs.
Most have loved ones who finally got help for their own grief and were told to stop enabling their behavior, that it does not help, that only the addict himself can make himself live sober and that trying to help does not help. I do not expect you to believe this. Not yet. Took me 10 wasted years. I felt people who said these things were cold hearted. These words shocked me. I rejected them. But I came to see they were right. I continue to recommend therapy and/or Nar Anon.
I send prayers and love to everyone in your family.
