Update on us...

[sdr413]

It has been awhile since I have posted. So here goes the update:

The last I posted I had shared tha mother in law had moved in with us. That lasted a year and a half until she wanted a place of her own a couple of months ago. Not because of our relationship, mainly because she was babysitting for my youngest grandPC and they live quite a ways from here so mother in law moved to an apartment halfway between us both so that we all could still be "close".

Over time mother in law, having raised four boys of her own has been a great help with difficult child and he has really matured alot in respecting his elders which in turn has improved his relationships at school. He is now on "re-entry level" for the first time in three years \!!!! :bravo:Which means that within the next 2 weeks we are having a meeting at his behavorial school about starting him back in mainstream school 3 days a week until the end of this school year and full time next school year. :smile:

We have worked soooo hard and gone through sooo much to get to this point that I am scared to talk about it and "jinx" it but I just had to share some good news.

The sad part about all this (and the scary part): 4 years ago our family lost both of difficult child's grandfathers within 6 months of each other. difficult child was very close to both of them and it was definately the start of a very severe down hill slide for him. Now he has developed a really good relationship with Grandma and last Thursday night she suffered a stroke. difficult child won't even go see her. He went to see her in the hospital on Friday and talks to her everyday. Teasing her about chasing him and other jokes between them trying to keep her laughing.

He says he will try to go see her today. She is now in rehab and the doctor says she will be there at least about 3 weeks before we will know if she can live on her own again.

Oldest easy child went to see her and has broke down crying because she hates seeing Grands like this. I am afraid what it will do to difficult child but he needs to come to terms with the change now because Grands needs all our support so that she won't give up and not try to get better. We are trying to encourage difficult child to learn how to move her and help care for her. (He is 6 feet 2" now and 300 lbs) He seems to like that idea alot. The therapist thinks it will be a good thing.

We are all keeping the faith

 

[timer lady]

Thank you for sharing such a positive update. I'm sorry to hear about Grandmother.

You did good! :warrior:

 

[oceans]

That is great that everything has gone so well! It is difficult when grandparents get old and start to have medical difficulties, and ever more difficult when they pass on. It is such a part of life that no one likes looking at, but it eventually comes. I hope that your difficult child's do OK, and they should with a good, loving support system.

 

[kris]

<span style='font-size: 14pt'> <span style='font-family: Georgia'> <span style="color: #663366"> well difficult child has certainly made some very positive progress, hasn't he? good for him.

i'm sorry about mother in law. hopefully she will make a good recovery. my son is very uncomfortable visiting me when i'm in hospital...but he wants to become a nurse (it's different when you're not directly attached to the patient he says). anyway i think involving difficult child in grand's recovery is a great idea.

kris </span> </span> </span>

 

[busywend]

My difficult child was deathly afraid of hospitals. She has gotten over that now, but for many years - no way to would she go in one.
I am sorry to hear about mother in law.

Glad to hear difficult child is doing so much better.

 

[totoro]

It is nice to hear a positive story, good for you and for difficult child and family. I hope Grands gets better and difficult child is able to adjust to this.

 

[Marguerite]

It's hard when someone loved in the family shows their mortality. The children can be kept away (or keep themselves away) or stay involved. If they keep away then their memories of that person are only going to be the fun times with the whole individual, but if they get involved they learn more about the full spectrum of life with good times and bad. They need to see that physical frailty does not mean the person they love is no longer there. Children can be very healing, especially children who are loved. SHE do doubt wants to be well and difficult child can help her remember the well times and the fun they had.

To be part of someone's life to the full, we need to embrace their death and the process of dying as well. We never exactly know when that will come but we need to remember - while a person is breathing, they're living. And while a person is living we should welcome and support that living. To be part of someone's life it to be part of as much of it as we can.

I hope difficult child can cope with this - he needs to know that she WILL die, one day, maybe not from this. Meanwhile, she is very much alive and wanting his company.

Marg