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General Parenting
Update on 'When is enough, enough?'
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 279062" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Seeing him around is a constant reminder of the abuse too. The child we adopted and disrupted the adoption on is now 18. My daughter is 12. To this day just his name makes her start to shake. She never talks about it, but is still in therapy where she is watched carefully.</p><p></p><p>Not talking doesn't mean "she's ok and she even seeks him out so she must not be scared of him." There are so many variables here. I think this kid is a budding psychopath just like the one we adopted. Not all kids can be saved. Your daughters CAN and SHOULD. I don't believe anyone should have to live in the same house as somebody who has sexually abused them. Ever. It is far too traumatic and it may go underground, but it will fester eventually. Scarily, I was forced to learn all this when it happened. If you don't act, you will probably one day be very sorry that you didn't take the girls and leave this man and his child. I don't normally recommend leaving a marriage, but this is the mental stability of your own children at stake here. Every time they see him, they remember what he did and how he got away with it. No real consequences. He violated at least the youngest one and got away with it, which is terrible for her. And you really don't and can't know what else he has done or may be doing. Think of your girls first and last. You can't save this boy. It's up to husband to get him help and he should not be at home getting it. (((Hugs)))</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 279062, member: 1550"] Seeing him around is a constant reminder of the abuse too. The child we adopted and disrupted the adoption on is now 18. My daughter is 12. To this day just his name makes her start to shake. She never talks about it, but is still in therapy where she is watched carefully. Not talking doesn't mean "she's ok and she even seeks him out so she must not be scared of him." There are so many variables here. I think this kid is a budding psychopath just like the one we adopted. Not all kids can be saved. Your daughters CAN and SHOULD. I don't believe anyone should have to live in the same house as somebody who has sexually abused them. Ever. It is far too traumatic and it may go underground, but it will fester eventually. Scarily, I was forced to learn all this when it happened. If you don't act, you will probably one day be very sorry that you didn't take the girls and leave this man and his child. I don't normally recommend leaving a marriage, but this is the mental stability of your own children at stake here. Every time they see him, they remember what he did and how he got away with it. No real consequences. He violated at least the youngest one and got away with it, which is terrible for her. And you really don't and can't know what else he has done or may be doing. Think of your girls first and last. You can't save this boy. It's up to husband to get him help and he should not be at home getting it. (((Hugs))) [/QUOTE]
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Update on 'When is enough, enough?'
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