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Substance Abuse
update- other shoes going to fall soon
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<blockquote data-quote="DammitJanet" data-source="post: 571327" data-attributes="member: 1514"><p>Sig I realize you probably dont want to hear from me but I will say it anyway. I think you have done a great job with him so far. He has really blown what was a great opportunity you gave him. I think he attempted to sow his wild oats a bit too late and even if he wanted to do some sowing of those oats in his first year of college as many do, he did it with far too much gusto. Most kids can at least manage to pull it together enough to make it to their sophomore year. </p><p></p><p>Right now he thinks he has the best of both worlds by staying your college boy even if its all a farce to everyone but his friends and his imagination. He doesnt have to grow up because he has a place to live and food in his belly. Time to make the little birdie leave the nest and fly on his own. Yes it is going to hurt like all get out. But that is the only way you are going to get any peace in your life. Dont worry about the what if's in his life. These kids have even more lives than cats. He will find so many couches to surf on you wont even be able to keep track of where he is at any given time. Simply hand over your worries to whatever is your higher power. He is not worrying at all about what this is all doing to you so dont spend one more minute losing sleep over him. I know this is so much easier said than done but you have to find a way to do it. </p><p></p><p>Do something constructive. Take a cardboard shoe box and decorate it nicely and cut a slit in the top and call it your worry box. Spend one half hour every night and worry as much as you can about your difficult child and write all your worries down on a piece of paper. After that half hour is done, fold that paper up and put it in the worry box. Dont look at it again. Do that every night. If you start to worry during the day remind yourself that you have a scheduled time to worry that evening and you have to put off your worries until that time. Pretty soon you will get the hang of it. Maybe at the end of a month or two you can open that worry box and read your worries and you will find out that the things you have been worrying about arent something you really need to worry about anymore.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DammitJanet, post: 571327, member: 1514"] Sig I realize you probably dont want to hear from me but I will say it anyway. I think you have done a great job with him so far. He has really blown what was a great opportunity you gave him. I think he attempted to sow his wild oats a bit too late and even if he wanted to do some sowing of those oats in his first year of college as many do, he did it with far too much gusto. Most kids can at least manage to pull it together enough to make it to their sophomore year. Right now he thinks he has the best of both worlds by staying your college boy even if its all a farce to everyone but his friends and his imagination. He doesnt have to grow up because he has a place to live and food in his belly. Time to make the little birdie leave the nest and fly on his own. Yes it is going to hurt like all get out. But that is the only way you are going to get any peace in your life. Dont worry about the what if's in his life. These kids have even more lives than cats. He will find so many couches to surf on you wont even be able to keep track of where he is at any given time. Simply hand over your worries to whatever is your higher power. He is not worrying at all about what this is all doing to you so dont spend one more minute losing sleep over him. I know this is so much easier said than done but you have to find a way to do it. Do something constructive. Take a cardboard shoe box and decorate it nicely and cut a slit in the top and call it your worry box. Spend one half hour every night and worry as much as you can about your difficult child and write all your worries down on a piece of paper. After that half hour is done, fold that paper up and put it in the worry box. Dont look at it again. Do that every night. If you start to worry during the day remind yourself that you have a scheduled time to worry that evening and you have to put off your worries until that time. Pretty soon you will get the hang of it. Maybe at the end of a month or two you can open that worry box and read your worries and you will find out that the things you have been worrying about arent something you really need to worry about anymore. [/QUOTE]
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