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Update re: court/bio father
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<blockquote data-quote="Mattsmom277" data-source="post: 441530" data-attributes="member: 4264"><p>Thank you for that Susie. I'm feeling flustered today but I suppose thats to be expected. Prior to the call however I was relaxed and mid-nap. I'm glad I'm able to deal with things when they arise and then put them on the back burner. I get a feeling that soon enough it might be more demanding on my emotions if he doesn't plead guilty as there will be all of these trials going on and with that will come more activity surrounding it and make it harder to back burner day to day. So I'm glad I've had this time to myself in order to try to distance a part of myself and gain strength since initially following his confession I was very shaken for some time. </p><p></p><p>My first instinct was to call my one aunt on his side of the family and update her, and I've decided against it. If she calls I'll mention it but there's been a lot going on for that side of my family. Just before the weekend my other aunt (the one who lives around the corner from my mother in law) lost her daughter in law. She was 36 years old, same as me, and left behind a husband and a daughter. Actually the daughter came with her grandma (my aunt) to meet my baby sister and I for the first time during the Christmas season. She was delightful. Same age as my easy child. I know that side of my family is dealing with a funeral this week among other things. I hope she understands later on that I didn't feel it right to put this on her mind when they are all grieving. I'm sure she will, she knows my heart is in the right place.</p><p></p><p>I hate that my mother will without a doubt be starting to call my house again. Argh! My brother too I'm sure, actually he's tried calling randomly 3-4 times the past couple of weeks. (I don't answer and he doesn't leave a message) I really have nothing to say to either of them, simply because, well there's nothing to say. If they become persistent I plan to answer each of them one time and tell them that we are not involved in each others lives for very good reasons and this situation doesn't change that so if they want updates or information to try the investigating detective who should be able to tell them something. </p><p></p><p>I'm very glad that easy child is finished school tomorrow for the summer. With S/O going back to work, I have a strange summer ahead with large bulks of time I will be alone. In some ways that will be good, in others perhaps too much time? easy child splits the summer here and at her dads house. So on the weeks she is home I plan to spend those days having some fun mom-daughter times and focus on helping her enjoy herself. It will be a great distraction and with Matt so far away now, it will be our first summer with her having me all to herself. I'll have to come up with some good activities. </p><p></p><p>Taking this all mentally I think in baby steps. For now, baby step until arrest. From there, baby step until first court appearances etc. In between, I have easy child to keep busy, S/O's new job to celebrate (knock on wood) and S/O's 40th birthday. Not to mention a wedding to plan. All very good things that are much more deserving of my daily focus than all of this. When this is all over though, when its done and over with, I have the feeling a emotional purging is going to be in order. I'm actually contemplating asking S/O if he'd mind if I take my first ever vacation on my own for a week. I've always dreamed of going off alone to a peaceful resort somewhere great and just reading on the beach, sleeping and waking and eating whenever I want, site seeing with resort tour groups and only doing what I want and not worrying about a travel companions wishes. Perhaps when this is all said and done would be a good time to cross that off my bucket list. I can picture launching a goodbye to my pain letter in a bottle into a blue ocean somewhere and coming home with a mind to 100% move on from all of this and never have to look back. It's been over 2 decades of it all and that is more than enough I am thinking. I'll send a postcard <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite2" alt=";)" title="Wink ;)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=";)" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Mattsmom277, post: 441530, member: 4264"] Thank you for that Susie. I'm feeling flustered today but I suppose thats to be expected. Prior to the call however I was relaxed and mid-nap. I'm glad I'm able to deal with things when they arise and then put them on the back burner. I get a feeling that soon enough it might be more demanding on my emotions if he doesn't plead guilty as there will be all of these trials going on and with that will come more activity surrounding it and make it harder to back burner day to day. So I'm glad I've had this time to myself in order to try to distance a part of myself and gain strength since initially following his confession I was very shaken for some time. My first instinct was to call my one aunt on his side of the family and update her, and I've decided against it. If she calls I'll mention it but there's been a lot going on for that side of my family. Just before the weekend my other aunt (the one who lives around the corner from my mother in law) lost her daughter in law. She was 36 years old, same as me, and left behind a husband and a daughter. Actually the daughter came with her grandma (my aunt) to meet my baby sister and I for the first time during the Christmas season. She was delightful. Same age as my easy child. I know that side of my family is dealing with a funeral this week among other things. I hope she understands later on that I didn't feel it right to put this on her mind when they are all grieving. I'm sure she will, she knows my heart is in the right place. I hate that my mother will without a doubt be starting to call my house again. Argh! My brother too I'm sure, actually he's tried calling randomly 3-4 times the past couple of weeks. (I don't answer and he doesn't leave a message) I really have nothing to say to either of them, simply because, well there's nothing to say. If they become persistent I plan to answer each of them one time and tell them that we are not involved in each others lives for very good reasons and this situation doesn't change that so if they want updates or information to try the investigating detective who should be able to tell them something. I'm very glad that easy child is finished school tomorrow for the summer. With S/O going back to work, I have a strange summer ahead with large bulks of time I will be alone. In some ways that will be good, in others perhaps too much time? easy child splits the summer here and at her dads house. So on the weeks she is home I plan to spend those days having some fun mom-daughter times and focus on helping her enjoy herself. It will be a great distraction and with Matt so far away now, it will be our first summer with her having me all to herself. I'll have to come up with some good activities. Taking this all mentally I think in baby steps. For now, baby step until arrest. From there, baby step until first court appearances etc. In between, I have easy child to keep busy, S/O's new job to celebrate (knock on wood) and S/O's 40th birthday. Not to mention a wedding to plan. All very good things that are much more deserving of my daily focus than all of this. When this is all over though, when its done and over with, I have the feeling a emotional purging is going to be in order. I'm actually contemplating asking S/O if he'd mind if I take my first ever vacation on my own for a week. I've always dreamed of going off alone to a peaceful resort somewhere great and just reading on the beach, sleeping and waking and eating whenever I want, site seeing with resort tour groups and only doing what I want and not worrying about a travel companions wishes. Perhaps when this is all said and done would be a good time to cross that off my bucket list. I can picture launching a goodbye to my pain letter in a bottle into a blue ocean somewhere and coming home with a mind to 100% move on from all of this and never have to look back. It's been over 2 decades of it all and that is more than enough I am thinking. I'll send a postcard ;) [/QUOTE]
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