Hi Penny and we're glad you're back! I know, they are so infuriating!!!! Anytime the "ask" for money comes, even today, I tense up. Difficult Child borrowed $30 from me last week, and then paid me back on his payday. World of difference from where we used to be (him using me).
They only tell us as much as they need to...in order to get what they need. Thus the headboard story you told.
I think it's almost like giving a homeless person some money. If you decide to do it, do it with no strings attached and walk away. No "they better not buy beer with it," or "I wonder how many other people gave them money already" etc. Just give it, no expectations, and let it go.
I would rather it be a gift than expect it back because then, what if they don't pay it back, then what are we to do? I became very very tired over the years of the drama. Today, I cannot stand drama. And DCs seem to be drenched in drama.
So...it's done now. What will you do next time? That's the question. Do we learn from this stuff?
Hang in there! Let it gooooooooooooooo. It's not worth the angst.
