The last time my son asked to borrow money ( he has never ever paid back a single penny he has 'borrowed' from me ) I made it clear that if he didn't pay me back I would not lend him another penny. He never paid me back. That along with the ungrateful bratty behaviour was enough for me.
This group has given me permission to say no. I honestly thought I was doing the right thing, even though I knew nothing was changing. Realising that he would never work things out for himself if I always solved things was a huge wake up for me. They are far more resourceful than we give them credit for. That said, he has recently moved into a room in a house. When he rings saying he has no electric, food etc - we'll have to see. I want to be strong. We do have to learn from this or else what's the point in going through this pain.
Stay strong Penny. We're right there with you x