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Update to Help! Hes SR
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<blockquote data-quote="night4now" data-source="post: 165044" data-attributes="member: 5394"><p>Let me start by defending myself. Again.</p><p>We are doing the very best we can. I dotn sleep at night trying to figure out another way to get around something, another person to go ask for help, another wya to get noticed. I have spent Thousands on attorney fees, and doctors, and will spend thousands and thousands more, I am sure. I have called everyone i can think of, and then everyone they have refered me to.</p><p>I keep the boys seperated as much as is humanly possible, and the occurances with the younger brother have only happend twice. More often its the little one touching the older one. </p><p>Ten is the age where hospitals and clinics will take him, for some reason. After that it is ingrained and not just a 'behavior', or so im told.</p><p>The DCFS agent says we are doing all we can, and a dozen shrinks say we are doing all we can. I dont feel that its all, what if i missed something? What if what if what if.</p><p>But I REFUSE to give the boy(s) away. I have spent the last two years proving to them that they are loved, and worth love. That they are wanted, and a part of the family. That we are all in this together, no matter what. After I have held them both when they cry that their mom doesnt want them anymore and gave them away, after I downright lied and told them that she wanted what was best for them and left them with us to make sure they were safe, after i have promised i will never give them away, taht i will always be here, that i love them as much as i love my birth child, I WILL NOT go back on that. They are my heart, and I am their stability, and that isnt going to change.</p><p>Now some people seem to think that I am not a good mom because of these things. Thats fine with me. I would like to see how you feel holding a 2 year old and a 5 year old while they scream and cry and wail that you are not their mom and their mom doesnt want them. How you feel after you dedicate your life to them, take a year off work to spend with them, and promise them you will always be there. I would really like to know how going back on that will prove I am a better person. I jsut dont see it.</p><p>We are pulling them out of daycare. The middle one does jsut fine durring school, when he is only there a few hours. Now that its summer, I worry too much. It interferes with my work. And it kills my health. </p><p>So we are going to go even broker (if thats possible) to get someone to come sit with them at our house. Line of sight, etc. I dont know how we will afford all this.</p><p>In the end we only have two other options tho. We can turn him to the state, where they will put him in a group home with a bunch of other sexually agressive kids and he will only get worse. Or we can send him to one of the 5 private clinics that will take kids his age, spend a fortune, and have a 30% chance of helping him. I only see that making the Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) worse, knowing we gave him away.</p><p>Sigh...</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="night4now, post: 165044, member: 5394"] Let me start by defending myself. Again. We are doing the very best we can. I dotn sleep at night trying to figure out another way to get around something, another person to go ask for help, another wya to get noticed. I have spent Thousands on attorney fees, and doctors, and will spend thousands and thousands more, I am sure. I have called everyone i can think of, and then everyone they have refered me to. I keep the boys seperated as much as is humanly possible, and the occurances with the younger brother have only happend twice. More often its the little one touching the older one. Ten is the age where hospitals and clinics will take him, for some reason. After that it is ingrained and not just a 'behavior', or so im told. The DCFS agent says we are doing all we can, and a dozen shrinks say we are doing all we can. I dont feel that its all, what if i missed something? What if what if what if. But I REFUSE to give the boy(s) away. I have spent the last two years proving to them that they are loved, and worth love. That they are wanted, and a part of the family. That we are all in this together, no matter what. After I have held them both when they cry that their mom doesnt want them anymore and gave them away, after I downright lied and told them that she wanted what was best for them and left them with us to make sure they were safe, after i have promised i will never give them away, taht i will always be here, that i love them as much as i love my birth child, I WILL NOT go back on that. They are my heart, and I am their stability, and that isnt going to change. Now some people seem to think that I am not a good mom because of these things. Thats fine with me. I would like to see how you feel holding a 2 year old and a 5 year old while they scream and cry and wail that you are not their mom and their mom doesnt want them. How you feel after you dedicate your life to them, take a year off work to spend with them, and promise them you will always be there. I would really like to know how going back on that will prove I am a better person. I jsut dont see it. We are pulling them out of daycare. The middle one does jsut fine durring school, when he is only there a few hours. Now that its summer, I worry too much. It interferes with my work. And it kills my health. So we are going to go even broker (if thats possible) to get someone to come sit with them at our house. Line of sight, etc. I dont know how we will afford all this. In the end we only have two other options tho. We can turn him to the state, where they will put him in a group home with a bunch of other sexually agressive kids and he will only get worse. Or we can send him to one of the 5 private clinics that will take kids his age, spend a fortune, and have a 30% chance of helping him. I only see that making the Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) worse, knowing we gave him away. Sigh... [/QUOTE]
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