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General Parenting
Update to my situation
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<blockquote data-quote="Wiped Out" data-source="post: 603294" data-attributes="member: 1631"><p>Thanks for the update. I can understand your frustrations. Often times with my difficult child I have felt the same way. It often felt to me that difficult child got away with a ton of stuff. However, with my difficult child, much of what he did was not withing his control when he wasn't properly medicated (not that this excused his actions). <em>Punishing</em> him didn't help him not to do things again. He didn't learn from consequences. </p><p></p><p>I do think he should have been made to pick up your tools and put them away (when he was in a place where he could do it; that was another thing with my difficult child that drove me nuts-I wanted it done "now" and for him he needed time to process and calm before he could "make things right").</p><p></p><p>I also understand your girlfriend's being afraid of escalating difficult child with tougher consequences. With difficult child we did get escalation-(again much more so when he was not properly medicated). There were times when husband would just say he felt more punished than difficult child. He needed the peace because our house seemed like such a battleground. </p><p></p><p>Now that my difficult child is older, 16 (I can't remember how old your difficult child is) and properly medicated (for him this was an absolute must) he accepts consequences better. He is still not great at it. I have learned to say to him, if you do this then this will happen but it is your choice. Let me know which you choose. He will still get loud and angry but will eventually calm and usually make the better choice-if not he suffers the consequence and accepts it better than he would have (again not perfectly because he is still a major difficult child).</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Wiped Out, post: 603294, member: 1631"] Thanks for the update. I can understand your frustrations. Often times with my difficult child I have felt the same way. It often felt to me that difficult child got away with a ton of stuff. However, with my difficult child, much of what he did was not withing his control when he wasn't properly medicated (not that this excused his actions). [I]Punishing[/I] him didn't help him not to do things again. He didn't learn from consequences. I do think he should have been made to pick up your tools and put them away (when he was in a place where he could do it; that was another thing with my difficult child that drove me nuts-I wanted it done "now" and for him he needed time to process and calm before he could "make things right"). I also understand your girlfriend's being afraid of escalating difficult child with tougher consequences. With difficult child we did get escalation-(again much more so when he was not properly medicated). There were times when husband would just say he felt more punished than difficult child. He needed the peace because our house seemed like such a battleground. Now that my difficult child is older, 16 (I can't remember how old your difficult child is) and properly medicated (for him this was an absolute must) he accepts consequences better. He is still not great at it. I have learned to say to him, if you do this then this will happen but it is your choice. Let me know which you choose. He will still get loud and angry but will eventually calm and usually make the better choice-if not he suffers the consequence and accepts it better than he would have (again not perfectly because he is still a major difficult child). [/QUOTE]
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