update...whats goin on here...sigh...

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by shad16_12, Mar 6, 2009.

  1. shad16_12

    shad16_12 Member

    Just to update whats going on here...Shawn has decided she wants to see what its like to live with Dad for a year. Somehow she believes that the kids in Northern Ontario are better friends than the ones in southern...(LOL we'll see how long that lasts before she'll be comfortable enough to start bossing them all around and gossiping) She was in a school with 700 kids and according to her none of them could be good friends to her...(maybe you need to take a look at yourself....you think??) Anyway it's been difficult for me although Adam thinks its the best thing since kraft dinner. At least she's safe from him. I was working for the last three years and having them home was very difficult what with all the calls at work and problems when i came home after a long hard day. Im unemployed at the moment i had a cyst removed from my wrist due to some pain in my arm and numbness in hands and have found out through nerve testing that I have carpal tunnel in both wrists and cubital tunnel in both elbows and am waiting for suirgeries for all of them after splinting hasnt releived it at all. Last winter I spent 8 days in the hospital with unexplained pneumonia that was getting worse after the fourth day so that was really scary for me and the kids who were staying here and there trying to keep their routine together...But we got past that.

    Now Adam is in a downward spiral. The school finally decided that he needed more support and he's in a regional communications class with 5 kids a teacher and a TA that follows them around all day. The extra support has been awesome and we know that when he wants to, he can certainly do the work in his own way. His refusal and avoidance are a problem. He skips classes, Ive recently discovered he's smoking cigerettes and weed with a kid he's been hangin out with on the weekends, and drinking. His anxiety has been off the charts, he's constantly complaining about how boring his life is...he hates going to his fathers because there is no understanding at all there of his issues but he goes because he doesnt want to hurt dads feelings... All he wants to do is sit at eh computer from 3:00 when he gets home until 10:00 when he goes to bed. He's a fiercly loyal friend i guess because it seems he will fight to the death for the kids he talks to. Socially he is well liked but I dont know about his chouice of friends. Many of them have problems alot worse than him and they contribute to his anxiety.

    A couple of months ago, he took four Advils. I guess since then he took 6 at one other time. Monday Im colouring my hair and the buzzer rings and its the POLICE...They ask if an ADAM lives here and i say "Yes"...thinking he did something stupid with his friends or they did and they wanted to ask him questions...He asks if Adam's sick and I say "No??" He wants to speak to him Adam comes out of the bathroom saying "Oh my God" and he cant believe his friend called them...I guess he told his frioend on MSN that he had taken 14 Advils (2800 mg) which in principle is an issue but not really enough to do too much physically but maybe make your stomach ache or make you tired. the ambulance came and insisted he needed to go to the hospital although he didnt want to they told him they could put him in handcuffs and force him. We stayed overnight. Adam thinks its all a big funny joke laughing at the cops the ambulance guys the doctors with kids at school...maybe its a coping mechanism but its annoying. He always tells the kids on MSN what he's done and exactly how many pills he's counted out. He says he wasnt "trying" to kill himself but if he dies it "doesnt matter". Today we saw the psychiatric. Tomorrow he's starting a day treatment program. I guess he needs to be fully re-assessed for medications because he's been fully off of them for about 3 yrs...and we'll start back on that again...Thanks for the welcome back....Ive thought about many people on here as well and have even checked in once in while to see whats goin on in everyones life...Now Im stressed out to the max...but hangin in....sonja
  2. 'Chelle

    'Chelle Active Member

    Hi Sonja. So sorry your Adam has been spiralling down. I can so understand. After about a year of good, my difficult child (will be 16 in May) has been struggling for about 6-8 weeks. The games 3-10, not skipping but refusing to do work at school, life is boring & *****. At least so far he has good friends who don't smoke weed (or anything) Took him today to the doctor to get the re-referral back to the psychiatrist, who had suspended his file last June because he was doing well. At least it won't take too long to get back in to see her.

    He says he wasnt "trying" to kill himself but if he dies it "doesnt matter". Perhaps he was giving a little cry of help, not wanting to ask or knowing how and knowing the pills really wouldn't hurt him, but maybe someone who would force the help on him would hear about it. I know how that worries you, as that "doesn't matter" attitude coming from my difficult child is what keeps me from getting to sleep at night. I know he doesn't really want to hurt himself, now, but what if it got to that point.

    Hope the day treatment can get him the help he needs to get back on an upswing.
  3. shad16_12

    shad16_12 Member

    thx chelle...yes that attitude is hard to deal with...he doesnt seem to care what you take away from him (the MSN thing is working though because he wont drop it) after that...it's like theres no more leverage bcuz nothing else matters. Of course he tries to let me kno that if he kills himself now it'll definetly be my responsibility becasue I just made his life 100 x more boring...Im not buying into that though...