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Update...yeesh.
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<blockquote data-quote="Lil" data-source="post: 681944" data-attributes="member: 17309"><p>Unfreakingbelievable.</p><p></p><p>I just got a call from his job...wondering why he wasn't there. He called in sick Friday. Was off Saturday and Sunday. Tonight? No-call, no-show. Will he call them now that I called him? Probably not. Probably best. We had a wonderful screaming match on the phone. Him at me because "why doesn't everyone just leave him alone for one day" and "why am I acting like he's just a terrible person" - yeah, SO not the language he used. </p><p></p><p>He made his bed. He'll either have a job tomorrow or not. Who knows? He did his usual, "Everyone else does it and they don't get fired." Sure. I've had my job for 21 years and if I did a no-call, no-show, they'd fire me! But whatever. His problem. Why was he not at work? He wants to find a different job. Sure. Because everyone who wants a second job or a different job just doesn't go to their first job when they're desperate for money. </p><p></p><p>I screamed at him. I literally screamed at him. Like I've NEVER screamed at him before. After we hung up I screamed some more. I just screamed primal screams until I couldn't anymore. Then I cried. </p><p></p><p>If he gets fired, he gets fired. He'll find another job or not. I've been so proud of him keeping this job. Now I'm just sick inside. Jabber's at work and I can't reach him. I'm just...sick. </p><p></p><p>I don't think he understood at all why I'm so upset at him. I even explained that I told him Jabber and I would talk about helping him out this time and I did that because he's being so responsible and trying so hard and then he does something that will likely get him fired. He still doesn't understand why I'm so upset. It's like he really doesn't understand how irresponsible this is.</p><p></p><p>I should be more surprised. But this is exactly how he'd react to what's been happening. It's why I was so willing to help with this bill. He doesn't handle stress well and this had done it, the electric bill and no one working. He says he's told his friend and girlfriend every day for the last 3 weeks that they had to get jobs...they don't even try. He's spending all this time worrying about money, being broke, not having money for the electric, barely having money for rent and this is a very poor, but not unexpected reaction to it. He fell apart. Instead of standing up and working harder, getting a second job, kicking out his friend, demanding the girlfriend work (she's on the lease, can't kick her out), like you or I would do, he shut down and gave up. Sure, he colors it with, "I can find three damn jobs in the time it takes them to find one." "I just need a day to think." "I am going to find a job that will pay the bills.", but the truth is he gave up. It's like when you have a really big job, so big you don't know where to start...so you just don't do anything. That's what's happened here. And now, if he gets fired, it's an excuse to fail. I'm sure it's subconscious, but that's what this is. </p><p></p><p>I can't believe I actually thought he was doing well. I should have seen this coming. When he started the, "Doesn't anyone understand how hard I'm trying?" "Doesn't anyone see how much I'm doing?" "I'm trying so hard and no one will help me?" I should have seen that this was next. </p><p></p><p>I actually thought it would be alright.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Lil, post: 681944, member: 17309"] Unfreakingbelievable. I just got a call from his job...wondering why he wasn't there. He called in sick Friday. Was off Saturday and Sunday. Tonight? No-call, no-show. Will he call them now that I called him? Probably not. Probably best. We had a wonderful screaming match on the phone. Him at me because "why doesn't everyone just leave him alone for one day" and "why am I acting like he's just a terrible person" - yeah, SO not the language he used. He made his bed. He'll either have a job tomorrow or not. Who knows? He did his usual, "Everyone else does it and they don't get fired." Sure. I've had my job for 21 years and if I did a no-call, no-show, they'd fire me! But whatever. His problem. Why was he not at work? He wants to find a different job. Sure. Because everyone who wants a second job or a different job just doesn't go to their first job when they're desperate for money. I screamed at him. I literally screamed at him. Like I've NEVER screamed at him before. After we hung up I screamed some more. I just screamed primal screams until I couldn't anymore. Then I cried. If he gets fired, he gets fired. He'll find another job or not. I've been so proud of him keeping this job. Now I'm just sick inside. Jabber's at work and I can't reach him. I'm just...sick. I don't think he understood at all why I'm so upset at him. I even explained that I told him Jabber and I would talk about helping him out this time and I did that because he's being so responsible and trying so hard and then he does something that will likely get him fired. He still doesn't understand why I'm so upset. It's like he really doesn't understand how irresponsible this is. I should be more surprised. But this is exactly how he'd react to what's been happening. It's why I was so willing to help with this bill. He doesn't handle stress well and this had done it, the electric bill and no one working. He says he's told his friend and girlfriend every day for the last 3 weeks that they had to get jobs...they don't even try. He's spending all this time worrying about money, being broke, not having money for the electric, barely having money for rent and this is a very poor, but not unexpected reaction to it. He fell apart. Instead of standing up and working harder, getting a second job, kicking out his friend, demanding the girlfriend work (she's on the lease, can't kick her out), like you or I would do, he shut down and gave up. Sure, he colors it with, "I can find three damn jobs in the time it takes them to find one." "I just need a day to think." "I am going to find a job that will pay the bills.", but the truth is he gave up. It's like when you have a really big job, so big you don't know where to start...so you just don't do anything. That's what's happened here. And now, if he gets fired, it's an excuse to fail. I'm sure it's subconscious, but that's what this is. I can't believe I actually thought he was doing well. I should have seen this coming. When he started the, "Doesn't anyone understand how hard I'm trying?" "Doesn't anyone see how much I'm doing?" "I'm trying so hard and no one will help me?" I should have seen that this was next. I actually thought it would be alright. [/QUOTE]
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