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Update...yeesh.
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<blockquote data-quote="Roxona" data-source="post: 682036" data-attributes="member: 19076"><p>I'm truly sorry for all the stress you and Jabber are going through. When it rains, it pours!</p><p></p><p>What I am wondering is this...</p><p></p><p>You say he is insecure and would rather have someone with him even though they are useless. I can see this. My own son is the same way. He feels empowered by his friends even though they never do anything positive for him. J collects people that are worse off than himself, so he can help them...fix them. It makes him feel useful. They, in turn, want to be around him and somewhat stroke his ego, while they learn they can take advantage of him. Ego being stroked, J does something else for them. It's a vicious cycle.</p><p></p><p>Now bear with me as I play devil's advocate. I feel like the weight of the world is coming down on your son because he can't get his friends to do their part and his parents are upset because he can't (for emotional purposes) kick out his friends. Loneliness is a hard place to be. Maybe he feels like he's between a rock and a hard place. It sure seems that way. No wonder he wants to hide from the world for a day...even at the expense of losing his job? When we're emotionally drained and it seems like the world is beating us up and we can't possibly win, we might give up because we can't see past it? The trials are too overwhelming, and I think that's where your son is right now. Overwhelmed.</p><p></p><p>As hard as it might be, I think not paying his electricity bill might be the best thing. His freeloading friends have no reason to help. They have places they can go to, why should they lift a finger? If you allow it to become uncomfortable for them all (including your son) then the freeloaders will either leave or get a job and start pulling their weight. Maybe it will even help your son strengthen his backbone and convince him he needs to better his situation.</p><p></p><p>In the meantime, I would try to encourage him and send positive messages to him. Is there another solution for him? Can he live on his own without them? Can he get a second job to help this? Can he do extra work for you or a relative to earn the extra money he needs to pay the immediate bill? He will eventually get tired of the freeloaders. </p><p></p><p>I'm sorry I do not know about your story with him. From your story I can see him struggling to succeed, but I do see him trying hard. However, as others had said before me, it is so easy to fall back into our bad habits when we feel defeated.</p><p></p><p>I hope you can find some peace in this, and I hope your son is okay from his accident.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Roxona, post: 682036, member: 19076"] I'm truly sorry for all the stress you and Jabber are going through. When it rains, it pours! What I am wondering is this... You say he is insecure and would rather have someone with him even though they are useless. I can see this. My own son is the same way. He feels empowered by his friends even though they never do anything positive for him. J collects people that are worse off than himself, so he can help them...fix them. It makes him feel useful. They, in turn, want to be around him and somewhat stroke his ego, while they learn they can take advantage of him. Ego being stroked, J does something else for them. It's a vicious cycle. Now bear with me as I play devil's advocate. I feel like the weight of the world is coming down on your son because he can't get his friends to do their part and his parents are upset because he can't (for emotional purposes) kick out his friends. Loneliness is a hard place to be. Maybe he feels like he's between a rock and a hard place. It sure seems that way. No wonder he wants to hide from the world for a day...even at the expense of losing his job? When we're emotionally drained and it seems like the world is beating us up and we can't possibly win, we might give up because we can't see past it? The trials are too overwhelming, and I think that's where your son is right now. Overwhelmed. As hard as it might be, I think not paying his electricity bill might be the best thing. His freeloading friends have no reason to help. They have places they can go to, why should they lift a finger? If you allow it to become uncomfortable for them all (including your son) then the freeloaders will either leave or get a job and start pulling their weight. Maybe it will even help your son strengthen his backbone and convince him he needs to better his situation. In the meantime, I would try to encourage him and send positive messages to him. Is there another solution for him? Can he live on his own without them? Can he get a second job to help this? Can he do extra work for you or a relative to earn the extra money he needs to pay the immediate bill? He will eventually get tired of the freeloaders. I'm sorry I do not know about your story with him. From your story I can see him struggling to succeed, but I do see him trying hard. However, as others had said before me, it is so easy to fall back into our bad habits when we feel defeated. I hope you can find some peace in this, and I hope your son is okay from his accident. [/QUOTE]
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