The good stuff:
I have been exercising and doing the ww point system. I get 18 points but more with the exercise which is a good motivator. I walk for food
I'm in a good place with it. It feels good to finally be on the right track. There are several other folks at work doing the same program so it's very supportive.
I am taking care of myself. Getting out with friends and doing playdates with difficult child (even though he's 9 if I don't make the dates he won't leave the house). School is ok but the teacher is worried because he isn't organizing himself and showing initiatve for doing the things he needs to do without constant reminding. This is something I accept will be lifetime challenge for him and going into 4th grade is just the start of an uphill battle. I have secured a tutor for the summer who was the 3rd grade student teacher and d loves her so that's good.
Work is great. Challenging and exhausting but I'm enjoying it at this point in time.
Home not so good. Husband is drinking again and he just eminates loathing for me. I'm so tired of being the reason for his unhappiness. I can't take much more. He needs to leave but he has no where to go. At some point soon he will have to go regardless. I do think I'm going pretty well despite the circumstances. I've detached as best I can and keep busy. I just don't want to be despised any more. We both made mistakes and we should never have married. We've both tried for 5 years but his issues go deep deep deep and I don't think he ever loved me the way I thought, the way loved him.
I miss all of you so much when I don't have time for this board. I promise to try and do better.
Love all,
Michele