Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Kjs, Nov 18, 2010.

  1. Kjs

    Kjs Guest

    First, thank you. I needed to hear your replies.

    School resource teacher called to tell me difficult child was safe and in with the School resource officer and is calming down. She said he is always supervised at school and I am not to worry. I told her he called me several times in the last 40 minutes and when I hung up he called back angrier and yelling more. She said that they will take his phone when he stays. While I was on the phone with her husband was calling school. She took that call. Called me back. husband will pick difficult child up and difficult child has calmed down and is doing some work. (he was there 90 minutes after he was done and did nothing but call me).

    husband called when he was on his way to get him. He apologized to me. Said he had so many calls from school, had to leave and check out his hand. When he did see difficult child - difficult child was the same to him.

    husband told me that he will tell difficult child that I will not answer his calls. Do not bother to call because mom will not answer. If it is an emergency leave a message and she will call back.

    difficult child's moods were flipping so fast my head was spinning. He was angry, very, very angry and no matter what I said he would then switch and yell about something else. Finally when I lost it then he started on a whole new subject. ME. How I am upset, he doesn't want to come home, I am angry. OMG it was horrible. Then he said he was going to run out in the road. (he did leave the room and go outside when he was on the phone yelling at me. I was told he was with the resource officer)

    When he got home.....??? It was like nothing happened.????? He was not angry. Having normal conversations. I don't get it. How can his moods switch like a blink of an eye and then act like nothing happened.

    I did call psychiatrist. I only got through to her secretary. Asked questions, told her what was going on. She called back and said, psychiatrist suggests he be in counseling. HELLO...he IS, and he HAS been. Every Tuesday. Then she says psychiatrist strongly suggests he not stop his medication - AGAIN...Hello...When I am here I stand there and make him take it. But he is almost 16 years old. I am not always there. I asked my original question...Can the Geodon cause this? She gave two sample packs. One for 20mg's one for 40mgs. I asked if we should increase the dosage or if this is caused from the geodon. She sais, I'll have to ask her and get back to you. No return call.

    Now earlier in the day, prior to lunch, difficult child was angry and punched a locker. School called husband and said he should have his hand looked at. husband went to school and checked out his hand. Swollen knuckles, black and blue knuckles. But difficult child was so angry he wouldn't admit it hurt. Said he was fine. OK. husband wanted me to call his doctor to get him in to look at it. OK. I did. Then when all heck broke lose I called back to say he would not go so cancel. When he got home and was calm and fine, I looked at it. He said it didn't hurt. So I touched it. LOL...THAT hurt. So I called Dr. Back and told the nurse it is swollen, black and blue, hurts to the touch. Nurse talked to doctor and they called in an order for xrays. So husband took difficult child to the hospital for xrays.

    Now, I have knuckle marks on the siding of my house. Dents all around the door in the siding. There have been holes in the walls that had to be patched from difficult child punching the wall. His bedroom door has recently been replaced because there was nothing left to it. It was all open due to him punching it. One big hole from top to bottom. The worst is my new refridgerator has dents in it from him punching it. So...this is not new. His hand/knuckles have been black and blue before, not quite this swollen before. What ever. I am sure it is fine. He can open and close with no pain. Only pain to touch.

    I DO know he is angry. And it breaks my heart when he describes how he feels with the depersonalization. I pray for him everyday that the depersonalization will go away. With this, he has trouble remembering and it makes him angry. he is angry that he feels like this. He is angry that he cannot remember like he use to. I KNOW that. I also know he says his depersonalization feels a bit better when he is angry. It has been two years since it set in and I think we have come to the conclusion it will never go away. Sad. He has done a good job keeping it in check most of the time. This time of year is always difficult and I do not know why. Always around his birthday.

    I work out of town. STay out of town. And it makes me feel so bad. the past two weeks the company made me take one night off. difficult child knows I feel bad not being home. Now that I am...this.

    I am still just lost because his moods swap so fast I cannot keep up. I do not know how to react.
  2. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    Don't feel bad for the nights you are not at home. Consider them as respite, and also an opportunity for husband to be the focus and have to handle it. In the past, husband has not backed u=you up enough. Time now for him to also step up, as he seemed to do this time. Good for him!

    The calm on returning - that happens here too. Although difficult child 3 will be on a much shorter fuse after a blow-up like that.

    The depersonalisation you describe - it sounds a bit like was described in "The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time" and we have also seen this; when these kids get really angry, a switch in their memory fails to turn on properly, and especially if they have any level of ADD, they simply fail to properly lay down memory when raging. It can be scary when this happens, but we see the same sort of raging in a toddler. And really, when it comes to impulse control and self-control, when these kids snap they revert to 2 years old. That's why the raging and the damage as they get bigger, can be such a worry.

    That practice nurse sounds like she works by numbers. Not really paying attention to the issues at hand. I would be calling back, saying, "I know you are really busy, I am too so I grabbed a spare moment to call and ask what the doctor said."

    Which reminds me... I have to call easy child 2/difficult child 2's doctor for her.