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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 565431" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>AG you've been busy. First of all, many supportive hugs to you, I know you're tired. I can relate to your post specifically because in my own path with my difficult child, I got to what I considered the end-game; I made a plan to get her to "level ground" and I pulled out all the stops to get her there................and then I let go. That thinking fulfilled my own sense of the right thing to do, it felt right in my mother's heart, so that's what I did. And, once I let go, I was done. I had to do it that way so I could say to myself, "I've done everything I can for my child, she is in a place where she can take the reigns, I can sleep at night, now it's up to her." She 'appears' to be taking the reigns now, however, whether she does or not, I am still done. I reached what felt like critical mass, I went over some line within my own self and once it was crossed, everything changed. It sounds to me like you've reached that point too. You've drawn a line in the sand, my only advice would be to make sure you stick to it, regardless of what he now does. If he is finished with the program in 24 hours, so be it.............as you said, then his life is no longer about recovery, it's about living and surviving and being a grown up. </p><p></p><p>I tend to think that it was your car so you had a right to find it. on the other hand, I can also understand your son's trust issue with the sponsor, it seems like one of those slippery slopes where there may not be a distinct right or wrong answer, you were protecting what's yours with the knowledge of past trust issues with your son and his misuse of your things............he is likely not able to see that his past actions obviously made a difference ........and his sponsor was put in a bad position............no right or wrong here, in my opinion, just a series of choices made by each individual along the way..........I can put myself in all the shoes and see it from a few angles...........but I don't think you were wrong in what you did..........</p><p></p><p>I hope once you take him on this journey you can let go...........I can tell you this, once I did that, my life began to change significantly........... and for the better..............I wish you peace...........(((HUGS))))</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 565431, member: 13542"] AG you've been busy. First of all, many supportive hugs to you, I know you're tired. I can relate to your post specifically because in my own path with my difficult child, I got to what I considered the end-game; I made a plan to get her to "level ground" and I pulled out all the stops to get her there................and then I let go. That thinking fulfilled my own sense of the right thing to do, it felt right in my mother's heart, so that's what I did. And, once I let go, I was done. I had to do it that way so I could say to myself, "I've done everything I can for my child, she is in a place where she can take the reigns, I can sleep at night, now it's up to her." She 'appears' to be taking the reigns now, however, whether she does or not, I am still done. I reached what felt like critical mass, I went over some line within my own self and once it was crossed, everything changed. It sounds to me like you've reached that point too. You've drawn a line in the sand, my only advice would be to make sure you stick to it, regardless of what he now does. If he is finished with the program in 24 hours, so be it.............as you said, then his life is no longer about recovery, it's about living and surviving and being a grown up. I tend to think that it was your car so you had a right to find it. on the other hand, I can also understand your son's trust issue with the sponsor, it seems like one of those slippery slopes where there may not be a distinct right or wrong answer, you were protecting what's yours with the knowledge of past trust issues with your son and his misuse of your things............he is likely not able to see that his past actions obviously made a difference ........and his sponsor was put in a bad position............no right or wrong here, in my opinion, just a series of choices made by each individual along the way..........I can put myself in all the shoes and see it from a few angles...........but I don't think you were wrong in what you did.......... I hope once you take him on this journey you can let go...........I can tell you this, once I did that, my life began to change significantly........... and for the better..............I wish you peace...........(((HUGS)))) [/QUOTE]
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