I spent Monday and Tuesday at the rehab attending the Family Program. Tuesday afternoon, I spoke with a patient advocate who said they wanted to send difficult child to an aftercare facillity they have. It is for men only and deigned to help those who have had trouble getting through the steps. (difficult child's relapses - both came when he was in Step 4.) The program is 60 days long. Highly structured. $170 a day. Insurance pays zero. I told him that difficult child didn't want recovery but he didn't have anything better to reach for now. He agreed and asked me to trust the process not difficult child. Hmmmm He said of the 14 beds they have, only 10 are occupied now. That's because they are very selective as to who they take down there. He said they did't want difficult child there if he wouldn't comply as he would taint the house there. That makes sense to me. He then got difficult child and we talked another hour. I told difficult child if I did this that he would have really short term goals. He doesn't make it, he is out. And I am not coming to get him. Also that after this, recovery can no longer be difficult child's life. He must get a job. Period. The patient advocate was in full agreement. Yesterday, had a conference call with difficult child and his counselor. It is a miracle that I didn't hang up. difficult child shot anger and excuses. Side question - do you think I was wrong to call difficult child's sponsor to ask if he knew where difficult child stashed my car? To also ask him to please not get difficult child out of jail because I wated to get to the car before difficult child did? Well difficult child has a huge issue with it and his counselor is taking his side. I agree if I asked anything about his program, his shares, etc. that I violated a boundary. I didn't. I asked difficult child to call the sponsor and ask him directly. He said he couldn't trust him anymore. Counselor still agreed with difficult child. Anyhow, plan is for my al-anon friend and I to drive 100 miles Wed am to get difficult child. Then 150 more to this place. Then home. I am not willing to be alone with him. God bless her for offering to come along. Told the rehab I am not willing to sign up for 60 days. difficult child is on a day by day status. He fails to meet goals, he's out. difficult child may not be at rock bottom but I am. I know miracles can happen but I believe it will be almost impossible to ever feel love like I once did for him.