ColleenB
Active Member
I first found these boards a year ago, as I was visiting my sister for Xmas and discovered our son was not only using drugs, which we had been dealing with for 2/3 years at that point, but dealing. It was probably the lowest point of my entire life. I felt like a failure as a parent, I was devestated.
Fast forward a year... it's been bumpy but basically it's been slowly getting better. Older son moved out in April, and it appears he has been getting better. He claims he no longer uses any hard drugs. We believe him, but there are times I wonder of course. My sister is here for Xmas and says she sees a big difference in him, colour, eyes..etc... so hopefully he is clean.
My father is also here for Xmas. I do not have a good relationship with him due to many reasons, but we always welcome him into our home and try to be kind. He lives in Virginia near my sister (we live in Canada) and he came up here with her family. His entire family lives here including his elderly parents, my grandparents. Well... he is not rational, due to his heavy use of prescription narcotics for chronic back pain, and can be very argumentative and difficult. Christmas Eve he starts in on criticism of other family members, his sister who takes care of his parents. I couldn't keep my mouth shut. I usually do, I never say anything, but it was getting bad. Even my Saint of a sister was telling him to basically shut up. Well my poor husband (whose own father is dying ) lost it and told him to get out of our house. It was horrible. My young nieces were crying, my older son was very upset, and ended up leaving to go back to his apt.
I know my father is not well, he is an addict himself. He gets very angry when you try to call him on it , insisting his doctors are on board.
I'm just so tired, and sad. What was supposed to be such a wonderful time, with my sister here and her kids, and seeing all the cousins and grandparents, has turned into such a nightmare. My older son was here at the house playing with his little cousins, and now he is feeling anxious and angry.
My poor husband is going to go spend the day with his mom and dad at their home( they gave his dad a day pass) since he can't stand being around my father. In my husbands defence he has dealt with my dad's crap for 25 years and is just at his limit. I'm worried older son will not want to be around either.
I'm so sick of drugs and what they do to families. I hate all the upset and drama.
I was so excited for this Xmas and really looked forward to it.
My mother flies in today, and we are not sure how that will go. She left my dad 25 years ago, and is not mean to him at all, in fact she is very kind, but he can be such an ass to her . I don't blame her for leaving... he really is miserable. If I could divorce him I think I would have long ago.
Just wish Xmas didn't bring out the worst in some people.
My husband is now feeling terrible he lost it, and broke down apologizing to our nieces for upsetting them, and seeing him yell at my father. I am worried for him. He has been such a rock through all our drama with son. And now his father is so sick, -and he has so much stress. He told me this fall he has been depressed, and he has never been depressed his entire life.
I'm actually doing pretty well, not on any anti depressant at all for first time in years.
Trying to keep it together for my sons and my sisters kids, but so upset.
Just thought I would check in....
Fast forward a year... it's been bumpy but basically it's been slowly getting better. Older son moved out in April, and it appears he has been getting better. He claims he no longer uses any hard drugs. We believe him, but there are times I wonder of course. My sister is here for Xmas and says she sees a big difference in him, colour, eyes..etc... so hopefully he is clean.
My father is also here for Xmas. I do not have a good relationship with him due to many reasons, but we always welcome him into our home and try to be kind. He lives in Virginia near my sister (we live in Canada) and he came up here with her family. His entire family lives here including his elderly parents, my grandparents. Well... he is not rational, due to his heavy use of prescription narcotics for chronic back pain, and can be very argumentative and difficult. Christmas Eve he starts in on criticism of other family members, his sister who takes care of his parents. I couldn't keep my mouth shut. I usually do, I never say anything, but it was getting bad. Even my Saint of a sister was telling him to basically shut up. Well my poor husband (whose own father is dying ) lost it and told him to get out of our house. It was horrible. My young nieces were crying, my older son was very upset, and ended up leaving to go back to his apt.
I know my father is not well, he is an addict himself. He gets very angry when you try to call him on it , insisting his doctors are on board.
I'm just so tired, and sad. What was supposed to be such a wonderful time, with my sister here and her kids, and seeing all the cousins and grandparents, has turned into such a nightmare. My older son was here at the house playing with his little cousins, and now he is feeling anxious and angry.
My poor husband is going to go spend the day with his mom and dad at their home( they gave his dad a day pass) since he can't stand being around my father. In my husbands defence he has dealt with my dad's crap for 25 years and is just at his limit. I'm worried older son will not want to be around either.
I'm so sick of drugs and what they do to families. I hate all the upset and drama.
I was so excited for this Xmas and really looked forward to it.
My mother flies in today, and we are not sure how that will go. She left my dad 25 years ago, and is not mean to him at all, in fact she is very kind, but he can be such an ass to her . I don't blame her for leaving... he really is miserable. If I could divorce him I think I would have long ago.
Just wish Xmas didn't bring out the worst in some people.
My husband is now feeling terrible he lost it, and broke down apologizing to our nieces for upsetting them, and seeing him yell at my father. I am worried for him. He has been such a rock through all our drama with son. And now his father is so sick, -and he has so much stress. He told me this fall he has been depressed, and he has never been depressed his entire life.
I'm actually doing pretty well, not on any anti depressant at all for first time in years.
Trying to keep it together for my sons and my sisters kids, but so upset.
Just thought I would check in....