Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
updating daily-Day 10, my son, in 1st detox, ?'s
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="saving grace" data-source="post: 109104" data-attributes="member: 1538"><p>Quote:</p><p>So son gets 30 days. He calls me one day 1 and says "I shouldn't be here, I am not doing that much, they have me on more drugs here than I was doing, I am gonna ask the counselor to get me out early, everyone here is really messed up I am the only normal one here...etc" asks for me to set him up with phone call card to girlfriend, he will call tomorrow. My take is he was shocked to be there and sad.</p><p></p><p></p><p>My son said the same EXACT thing his first time in detox and the second, and third, by the fourth time he started asking to be in detox but I soon realized that he had the system figured out by then and new it would help him with the symptoms of withdrawl he would be good for maybe a week some times more sometimes less.</p><p>It took many times until he "got it"</p><p>I do believe that each time he spent in the various different types of rehabs and detoxs was not wasted, I feel it got him to the point he is at and he needed each and every one. </p><p>That said 3 days is way way way too soon for him to have contact with the outside, ie; girlfriend you or anyone. He will say whatever he needs to so that you feel bad for him The addict is the master of manipulation, he probably doesnt do it to hurt or on purpose it just comes natural to him.</p><p></p><p>What you can do is DETACH he is a man, he is 22 and a father. He needs to figure this out himself. Tell him you love him, and that you will be there to support him when he is supporting himself and doing the right thing and taking responsibility for his own actions. Believe me I know how hard it is to hear you son cry and beg and hurt but he needs this. </p><p>The first time my son went away I brought him everything he needed to be comfortable, he sold it or traded most of it. The second time I gave him the essentials, each time he valued what he had and learned to appreciate it because he realized how important a phone card was or toothpaste. Its a long process but you have to remember he is not a camp he is being punished for his actions let him feel the consequences of his actions. Let him miss you, his baby and his girlfriend. Tell her to do the same.</p><p></p><p>Love him, allow him to call you once a week when he has phone privlages, be supportive but not enabling be strong. If he leaves lock your doors and tell him that you love him but you do not love his addiction and that while you have room for him in your life you do not have room for his addictions. </p><p></p><p>You can do it, you can be strong, they are more resiliant than they make you believe that are. My son has been in jail, rehabs detoxs, homeless, beat up, strung out you name it. Each time I learned more and more. </p><p></p><p>This is a great place to come when your feeling down, I would have not been able to get through the past 5 years without this site. </p><p></p><p>More will come and welcome you, more will come and offer their experience and advice, piece it together and take what you need from us.</p><p></p><p>Grace</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="saving grace, post: 109104, member: 1538"] Quote: So son gets 30 days. He calls me one day 1 and says "I shouldn't be here, I am not doing that much, they have me on more drugs here than I was doing, I am gonna ask the counselor to get me out early, everyone here is really messed up I am the only normal one here...etc" asks for me to set him up with phone call card to girlfriend, he will call tomorrow. My take is he was shocked to be there and sad. My son said the same EXACT thing his first time in detox and the second, and third, by the fourth time he started asking to be in detox but I soon realized that he had the system figured out by then and new it would help him with the symptoms of withdrawl he would be good for maybe a week some times more sometimes less. It took many times until he "got it" I do believe that each time he spent in the various different types of rehabs and detoxs was not wasted, I feel it got him to the point he is at and he needed each and every one. That said 3 days is way way way too soon for him to have contact with the outside, ie; girlfriend you or anyone. He will say whatever he needs to so that you feel bad for him The addict is the master of manipulation, he probably doesnt do it to hurt or on purpose it just comes natural to him. What you can do is DETACH he is a man, he is 22 and a father. He needs to figure this out himself. Tell him you love him, and that you will be there to support him when he is supporting himself and doing the right thing and taking responsibility for his own actions. Believe me I know how hard it is to hear you son cry and beg and hurt but he needs this. The first time my son went away I brought him everything he needed to be comfortable, he sold it or traded most of it. The second time I gave him the essentials, each time he valued what he had and learned to appreciate it because he realized how important a phone card was or toothpaste. Its a long process but you have to remember he is not a camp he is being punished for his actions let him feel the consequences of his actions. Let him miss you, his baby and his girlfriend. Tell her to do the same. Love him, allow him to call you once a week when he has phone privlages, be supportive but not enabling be strong. If he leaves lock your doors and tell him that you love him but you do not love his addiction and that while you have room for him in your life you do not have room for his addictions. You can do it, you can be strong, they are more resiliant than they make you believe that are. My son has been in jail, rehabs detoxs, homeless, beat up, strung out you name it. Each time I learned more and more. This is a great place to come when your feeling down, I would have not been able to get through the past 5 years without this site. More will come and welcome you, more will come and offer their experience and advice, piece it together and take what you need from us. Grace [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
updating daily-Day 10, my son, in 1st detox, ?'s
Top